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OF TH E
-School of Medicine
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Digitized by the Internet Archive
in 2011 with funding from
LYRASIS Members and Sloan Foundation
http://www.archive.org/details/clinic1916coll
tntr
v. 10
1916
COLLEGE
of
PHYSICIAN
and
SURGEONS
BALTIMORE MD.
Eleder
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CONTENTS
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Dedication |
4-5 |
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Editorial Board |
6-7 |
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Forward |
8 |
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Contributors to Clinic |
9 |
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The Faculty, Poem |
10-11 |
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Faculty .... |
12-19 |
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Resident Staff . |
20 |
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Physician |
21 |
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22-46 |
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The Twentieth Centurj |
T |
46 |
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Success in Adversity |
47-48 |
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The Doctor's Heaven |
50 |
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51-67 |
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68-69 |
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70-73 |
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74 |
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Freshmen |
76-77 |
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Dr. Simon's Letter |
78 |
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The Price He Paid . |
82-83 |
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84 |
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Phi Beta Pi . . . |
85-87 |
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Ode to the Stomach |
88 |
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Phi Chi .... |
89-91 |
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Benedicts |
92-93 |
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Y. M. C. A . . . |
94-96 |
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Little Rebel's Eyes . |
98-108 |
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The Skull . . . |
110-111 |
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Life and Its Relation |
to |
th( |
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112-113 |
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That Last Night . |
115 |
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116-122 |
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124-127 |
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128-129 |
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Another Day |
130 |
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Grinds .... |
132-137 |
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Freshman's Dilemma |
138 |
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140-143 |
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Chaste Nursie . |
144 |
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Tonics and Seditive |
145-152 |
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End |
155 |
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i'liiiiiiiiiiniiiiiii^
Hefcuratton
TO
stambisb mb@&^&m%9 m ©,
Professor of Pathology and Histology at the College of Physicians and Surgeons
We dedicate this volume
Tmm ©ilhstc ©if a®a©
As a token of our admiration and respect
which we hold for him as a
Teacher and a Man.
BOARD OF EDITORS.
illlll!l[!llllllll!l!l!!ll!lillll!l!i!iillli!IUIUIIIIIJIIIIIIIiillllM
Residence,
1609 Linden Ave.,
Baltimore, Md.
Graduated with honors from the College of Physicians and Surgeons, 1890.
Resident at Bay View Hospital.
Resident at Mercy Hospital.
Former Professor of Histology.
Professor of Pathology.
in
a.
0
I-
iBttavb of lEJUtora.
Editor-in-Chief G. H. BLOOM
Business Manager F. H. CLARK
Art Editor G. L. McCLINTOCK
Secretary L. A. LASHER
L. A. M. KRAUSE S. B. RIGBY, A. B.
Literarv Editors
E. D. MEYERS L. J. BOHL
Grind Editor H. W. WHEATON
Advertising Managers W. E. MADDISON F. C. HERTZOG
L. H. BLOOM M. J. MONTGOMERY
Treasurer H. D. KETCHERSIDE
FOREWORD
Dear Friends, in the years to come, May fortune treat thee truly well ;
But if not fortune, deeds well done, Shall be thy song and even bell.
We give this volume, friend,
To thee and for the future near. Perchance a happy thought will tend
To bring to mind our efforts here.
So this poor book is humbly given, And flesh and blood doth surely ere,
We have not trod the seventh heaven, But only striven to be fair.
1 Clinic Board. J
lNIIIIII!!llllll!llllll!nNllllllllllll!!!lllllllllinillll!llllllll!!lillllllllll!l!ll
Contributors to ©tjr Clmtr.
DR. CHARLES SIMON DR. ALEXIUS McGLANNAN
DR. EMIL NOVAK DR. WM. ROYAL STOKES
ELEDER, '17 O'XEILL. '16 RIGBY. '17
GOLDSBOROUGH, '19 NOHE, '17
McCLINTOCK, '17 BYRNE, '16 KRAUSE, '17 MISS E. B. MITCHELL CLARK. 17 WILD, '19
(Eije Jfarttltij.
First comes our noblest Roman, Bill Lockwood, L. L. D.. Who gives quinine whene'er he can, or iron t. i. d. May everyone who listens to him speak of human ills, Cure four and twenty patients for every one he kills.
There was a man in our town, and he was wondrous wise, He jumped into a bramble bush, and scratched out both his eyes; But when he found they both were out, with all his might and main, He went to Harry Friedenwald, and now he sees again.
John Wesley Chambers' fame we know in general surgery, Is known to all the wide, wide world, at least so he told me; Long may he live, the best of men, and prosper to the end. Though he always cuts a patient, he will never cut a friend.
Young Simon tells his classes that amido-glycocol Plus lemon phosphate acetone equals benzo-fol-de-rol : And this plus benzol-tra-la-la makes placebo-naphthalein Sulpho-diazo glyceride. Xow don't you think he's mean?
Oh, Harrison, the golden, with milk and honey blest. We've worked too hard these latter years, let's take a good long rest. We'll go to England, Scotland. Deutschland, Highlandtown and France, And Turkey-trot to see the well-known "Hootche-Kootche" dance.
And now Professor Locher talks of symptoms of gangrene ; Great Scott ! He's skipped to how to cut in taking out the spleen. Alas, he's jumped to tetanus! Ye gods! I do declare, Instead of learning surgery, they're learning how to swear.
10
THE FACULTY-Continued.
Of George, our obstetrician, I have often heard men say,
The fatty tissue of his frame outweighs a bale of hay;
That George and others balance things in my mind there's no doubt,
While one helps people in this world, the others help them out.
The versatile McCleary knows' everything in sight From dogs, antiques, and racing to where the fishes bite; Bacteriologue and pathologue, clinician, sage and wit, The only thing he does not know is how to sew and knit.
Here's to the bunch, the Faculty ; here's to each petty sin ; Here's to the faults and weaknesses that makes us all akin : And yet a toast I fain would drink in virile blood red wine — Here's to each man we learned to love in the days of "auld lang syne."
Dr. Wm. Royal Stokes.
11
■I FACULTY r
Jfonrttltij.
William Simon, Ph.D., M.D., ScD., Professor of Chemistry and President of the Faculty.
John W. Chambers, M.D., Sc.D., F.A.C.S., Professor of Surgery.
Nathaniel G. Keirle, A.M., M.D., Sc.D., LL.D., Professor of Medical Jurisprudence.
William F. Lockwood, M.D., Professor of Medicine and Dean of the Faculty.
George W. Dobbin, A.B., M.D., Professor of Obstretrics and Gynecology.
William Royal Stokes, M.D., Sc.D., Professor of Pathology and Bacteriology.
Harry Friedenwald. A.B.. M.D., Professor of Opthalmology and Otology.
Archibald C. Harrison, M.D., F.A.C.S., Professor of Surgery.
Carey B. Gamble, Jr., A.M., M.D., Professor of Clinical Medicine.
William S. Gardner, M.D., Professor of Gynecology.
Standish McCleary, M.D., Professor of Clinical Medicine1 and Special Pathology.
Edward N. Brush, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry.
Julius Friedenwald, A.M.. M.D., Professor of Gastro-Enterology.
C Hampson Jones, M.B., CM. (Edinburgh), M.D., Professor of Hygiene and Public Health.
John Ruhrah, M.D.. Professor of Pediatrics.
13
FACULTY-Continued.
Charles F. Blake, A.M., M.D., Professor of Proctology.
Charles E. Simon, A.B., M.D., Professor of Chemical Pathology and Experimental Medicine.
Bartgis McGlone, A.B., Ph.D., Professor of Physiology.
Joseph Holland, M.D.,
Professor of Anatomy.
Frank Dyer Sanger, M.D., Professor of Diseases of Nose and Throat.
Charles E. Brack, Ph.G., M.D., Clinical Professor of Obstetrics.
Harvey G. Beck, Ph.G, M.D., Clinical Professor of Medicine.
Albertus Cotton, A.M., M.D., Clinical Professor of Orthopedic Surgery and Radiography.
Alexius McGlannon, A.M., M.D., F.A.C.S., Clinical Professor of Surgery and Surgical Pathology.
Andrew C. Gillis, A.M., M.D., Clinical Professor of Neurology and Psychiatry.
14
Ifour iffatljtfr.
Yes, college boy, I know you're bright,
You've studied Horace through and through That's why you stay up late at night
And strive to be a Roman, too. But here's a thing to bear in mind
When you are telling all you know : You're just a puppy, small and blind,
"The Old Man" knew it years ago.
"The Old Man" let's you have your way,
And chuckles when you "put on airs." He lets you say our little say
And lets you show your little wares. But here's a thing he never tells.
Because he fears that he might bore you : Ten hard years hence, you'll have some sense,
"The Old Man" knew it long before you.
^tear After ^tear.
Year after year, -
The leaf and shoot ; The babe and the nestling,
The worm at the root ; The bride at the altar,
The corpse on the bier — The Earth and its story
Year after year.
Whither are tending
And whence do they rise ; The cycle of changes,
The worlds in their skies, The seasons that rolled
Ere I flashed from the gloom And will roll on as now
When I'm dust in the tomb?
G. F. S. A.
15
Associate iFarulty
Holliday H. Haydex, M.D.. Associate Professor of Applied Anatomy.
Samuel J. Fort, M.D., Professor of Materia Medica and Pharmacology.
aIelvix Rosenthal, M.D., Associate Professor of Genito-Urinary Surgery and Dermatology.
Hubert C. Knapp, M.D., Associate Professor of Medicine.
Abraham Samuels. Ph.G., M.D., Associate Profesor of Gynecology.
William W. Requardt, M.D., Associate Professor of Surgery.
Caleb W. G. Rohrer, A.M., Ph.D., M.D., Associate Professor of Pathology.
Glenn M. Litsinger, A.B., M.D., Associate Professor of Obstetrics.
George W. Mitchell, M.D.. Associate Professor of Diseases of Nose and Throat.
Walter D. Wise. M.D., Associate Professor of Surgery.
T. B. Mardex. M.D., Professor of Histology and Embryology.
G. Howard White. A.B.. M.D., Associate Professor of Physiological Chemistry and Clinical Pathology.
Edgar B. Friedexwald, M.D.. Associate Professor of Pediatrics.
Lewis J. Rosenthal, M.D., Associate Professor of Proctology.
William Greexfeld. M.D.. Associate Professor of Pathology and Bacteriology.
T. Fred'k Leitz, M.D., Associate (Professor) of Gastro-Enterology.
Anton G. Rytixa, A.B., M.D., Associate (Professor) of Genito-Urinary Surgery.
William T. Watson, M.D.. Associate in Medicine.
18
ASSOCIATE FACULTY-Continued
Robert B. W. Mayo, M.S., M.D., Associate in Medicine.
George A. Strauss, Jr.. M.D., Associate in Gynecology.
H. K. Fleckensteix, M.D., Associate in Ophthalmology and Otology.
C. C. W. Judd, A.B., M.D., Associate in Clinical Pathology.
W. Milton Lewis, M.D., Associate in Clinical Pathology.
Maurice Lazenby, M. D., Associate in Obstetrics.
Joseph I. Kemler, M.D., Associate in Ophthalmology and Otology.
Elliott H. Hutchins, A.M., M.D., Associate in Surgery.
Harvey B. Stone, A.B., M.D., Associate in Surgery.
Thomas R. Chambers, A.B., M.D., Associate in Surgery.
F. K. Nichols, A.B.. M.D., Associate in Physiology.
F. W. Hachtel,_M.D., Associate in Bacteriology.
G. F. Sargent, M.D., Associate in Neurology and Psychiatry.
R. W. Locher. M.D., Professor of Operating Surgery.
F. L. Jennings, M.D,. Associate Professor of Surgery.
Emil Novak, M.D., Associate in Gynecology.
G. H. Woltereck, M.D., Assistant in Pathology and Bacteriology.
John H. Vorhes, M.D., Assistant in Orthopedic Surgery and Radiography.
D. D. V. Stuart, Jr.. M.D.. Assistant in Neurology and Psychiatry.
19
i&v&ibent 3Hfl0pttal ^taf i .
Superintendent E. P. Smith, M. D.
Resident Surgeons F. E. Gorr, M. D. W. R. McKenzie, M. D.
J. B. Lohan, M. D. H. L. Rogers, M. D.
F. Moose, M. D. F. X. Kearney, M. D.
Resident Physicians H. H. Johnson, M. D. E. H. Mayer, M. D.
T. H. Morrison, M. D. L. K. Fargo, M. D.
Accident Service W. H. Bash, M. D. M. Levy, M. D.
Resident Gynecologist A. McClurg, M. D.
Resident Obstetrician T. K. Galvin, M. D.
20
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| W^v pijijsirtatt.
I know no greater character in the world
Than a great, strong, well-equipped physician.
You can see in his face the semblance
Of the large, great measure of things in his soul.
It is written upon him, it is carved in his wrinkles,
It is marked in his manner of moving,
Its spell is upon the word he utters,
And the way that he utters the word is a way
That carries conviction to your soul
Of the greatness of his soul.
What a meaning he was to the growth of our civilization !
What a part he plays in the gradual progress of truth !
What a mine of ineffable resource,
How sane, how broad, how noble in openly leaning
Down from his eminent tower of knowledge
To catch from the drift of the world's thought —
The ceaseless crying and clamor —
A light that may add to his own light
A finer sense of right seeing
Into the dark that incloses
The burning beacon of truth !
The B. B.
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21
gitmrg
JplllllllUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIH
Wqt Mentor
t^* *^" *^*
Senior ! Ah, but 'tis a noble name.
Here have we reached the pinnacle of fame.
'Tis here for four long years we fain did hope,
And now we can dispense all kinds of dope.
Our bed is now of soft and balmy roses,
What tho' we do give fishy diagnosis?
How dignified, how noble is our mein
When we call liver small, enlarged spleen?
How confidently do we give large doses
Of standard cough cure in tuberculosis !
How quickly do we now call opthalmitis
A compound fractured epididimitis.
On surgery we look with no alarm,
For ingrown toenails amputate the arm.
The reason to the layman is not plain.
We know the agony is referred pain,
And if it happened in the arm instead
We'd carefully then amputate the head.
Ah ! there is nothing more for us to learn ;
Use Lydia Pinkham's compound for a burn.
We know 'tis so ; they've told us, if you please,
That it will heal no mortal man's disease.
And arguing from our pathology
We know a burn is but an injury.
Ah, Medicine ! we know thee now by heart
And are prepared to play the doctor's part.
23
#£ttt0r Class IKfstsry.
DPI
^QHEN the College of Physicians and Surgeons opened its doors in Ij Dr. William Simon, we were introduced into the mysteries of a After matriculation and a few fatherly words of advice from had chosen for their life's work the study of medicine. October, 1912, there had assembled a number of sturdy young men from all parts of our country, and some from distant lands, who medical school. Only a few days elapsed until we were given a rigid set of rules by the then Sophomore class, which we rere in- formed to obey, but we, being believers in equal rights, the rules were absolutely ignored. Immediately a "rush" ensued, which resulted in the free transportation of the Sophs to the Central Police Station.
The election of class officers followed. There was considerable debating, but it was the most hurried of our class elections. The officers were :
President
William Jervais
Secretary
Ben j. H. Biddle
Vice-President
MoRIANO RlERA
Treasurer Abraham Sternschuss
Historian
Charles De Feo
Sergeants-at-Arms
Walter Muffly H. D. Wolfe
When peace followed the "rushes," we began to work faithfully, thinking of nothing but knowledge-to-be-gained and the examinations to come.
Third-year examinations came and we met them as bravely as we did the "Orations of Cicero."
The Xmas holidays found most of us at home. Following the vacation we began our work for the first time in the dissecting room. We enter with a de- termination in view to conquer whatever was put before us, however difficult it might be. With this determination we not only won the friendship of one an- other, but that of the upper classmen and instructors as well.
24
SENIOR CLASS HISTORY-Continued.
Soon the final examinations approached, and we began to work more seriously until the last examination was over. Then we returned home for our summer vacation.
On our return it was with great sorrow that we learned that some of our classmates had fallen by the wayside, but we gladly extended our hand of wel- come to all new-comers.
It would take entirely too long to even give a brief resume of the next two years at P. & S. But a few facts must be stated.
Shortly after we assumed the duties of Sophs the question of hazing the Freshmen was thoroughly discussed. Owing to convincing arguments it was unanimously decided not to haze the "freshies." This was the one time we did not follow the custom, and we hope that all future Sophomores will follow our precedent.
The junior year found us in the real study of medicine. It was then we began to v^ork in dispensaries and to visit wards. This year was marked by the same earnest endeavor which characterized the class during the first and sec- ond years.
It was with no little pleasure that we reassembled last fall as Seniors. We realized that the greater part of our task was over, but that it was not finished. It was at this time we learned that we were not only of the P. & S.. but a part of the U. of M. as well. Only a few days passed before we began our earnest work at home and in the wards.
A class organization was effected with the following officers :
G. R. Post, President. W. L. Madden, First Vice-President. 1. J. O'Brien, Second Vice-President. i . R. Chaput, Secretary. I. H. P. Byrne, Treasurer.
C. H. Lupton, Historian. S erg eanis-at- Arms. F. A. Beck, F. Compton,
Executive Committee.
F. A. Peterson, E. F. Syrap,
M. J. Foley,
Our work continued until the Thanksgiving holidays. After the holidays we resumed our work, especially preparing for the mid-year examinations. Jt was not long, however, till it was announced, to the surprise of the entire class and probably to the sorrow of the majority, that there would be no exams. This did not cause us to forget our duty and our purpose at school, however, so we continued our eager work until December 18th, when the Xmas holidays began.
January 4th found practically all the students in the halls of P. & S. and ready for work. Now we realized that we were on the home-stretch, with the goal within grasp. Our hearts are filled with joy and pride. The prayer on our lips is that we may have enough energy and endurance stored up in our bodies to withstand the final test.
As it is time for the Clinic to go to press, it will be impossible to give the remainder of the history of the class of 1916. But as the time draws nearer and nearer for us to part, let our departure not be the last link in the study of medicine, but unite us in a golden chain of memories for every individual of the class of 1916 and for our grand old Alma Mater — P. & S.
C. H. Lupton, Historian.
25
Mentor (glass Officers.
G. R. Post President
W. L. Madden T. J. O'Brien
First J 'ice- President Second I Ice-President
J. R. Chaput I. H. P. Byrne
Secretary Treasurer
C. H. Lupton Historian
F. A. Beck F. Comptox
Sargeants-at-Arms
iExenttfue Committer.
F. A. Peterson E. F. Syrop
M. J. Foley
26
David M. Airman,
* B II Brockwayville, Pa.
Tall, lithe and athletic, "Mac" came to us in his tender youth, seeking enlighten- ment in the Art of Hippocrates. Dave's favorite lecture is a lantern demonstra- tion, where with lights out he can choose a comfortable seat and be borne away to the realms of Morpheus. However, Dave is not sleepy when it comes to a question of ability. On the contrary, he is an exceptional student. His many sterling qualities make him very popular with his classmates.
When the smoke of battle has cleared and we are weighed in the balance, this Scotch youth will take his place among the foremost. The Keystone State, wherein he intends to practice, will be richly repaid for his absence therefrom during his student days at P. & S.
B. T. Boggott,
X Z X Baltimore, Md.
Boggott has been with us all four years. He has a sunny disposition, and a keen appreciation of the better side of everyone. As a student he has proven himself to be one of our best, a clear thinker, combined with the ability to ap- ply himself along practical lines. He always has time to help any of his friends, even though in so doing he in- conveniences himself. His pleasing per- sonality, combined with his thorough study, assures his success.
£7
F. A. Beck (Stethescope), @ x
Pennsylvania.
Foster came to our midst in the Soph- omore year. He is a hard worker, a good student and a clever salesman, es- pecially for stethescope. He has an un- excelled record for registering obstet- rical cases. He is one of our Benedicts, being a good husband but a "bum" father. No doubt he will be heard of as a great obstetrician within a few years. He has our most sincere wishes for a prosperous career.
Benj. H. Biddle, "Benny," <P J 9; <I> b II
Athens, Ohio. Secretary, 1912, 1913.
Tiring of the fast and furious career of a rural schoolmaster in the tall and uncut timber of Alexander township, ambition caused this modern Ichabod to look for fame in the practice of the curative art.
To be more serious, a finer fellow, a truer and more sincere friend is not to be found.
"Ben" will be the last of seven broth- ers to graduate in medicine. He was not with us long before his ability was recognized, and time found him admin- istering prophylactic treatment for ra- bies in the Pasteur Institute.
"Ben's" college life gives us an excel- lent promise of success.
28
H. F. BuETTNER,
Baltimore, Md.
This young man was out of school for two years, joining our class last fall to finish his senior year. He spent the greater part of his time out of school doing research work in Mul ford's Bio- logical Laboratories.
His time with us has been marked by incessant toil and his quiet manner has won for him the good will of the class.
I. A. P. Byrne,
0 A I
Xew York.
Treasurer 1915-1916.
Byrne responded to the roll-call in 1913 to start his sophomore year. He is the biggest man in our class and a gen- eral rotundity. In class politics he re- minds you of "W. J. B." His little speeches haye done much to quell in- evitable riots. Although Byrne is surgi- cally inclined, we have an idea that his specialty will lead into Public Health Commission. We expect a good report from him soon.
29
James M. Cannon,
* B II
Tulsa, Okla.
Jimmie, alias "N."
Girls, we beg to announce —
Debonair Jimmie, who hails from Ok- lahoma and is a typical Irishman ( with all regrets to Bill Flynn). He loves his chicken and is a rapid firer, by name and action. Aikman crowns him "King of Snorers." "N" is to be sympathized with in his many conscientious efforts to bring forth and nourish a semblance of a mustache.
Studious, a jolly good fellow and well liked by all, Jimmie will leave us in pur- suit of fame. We predict a bright and prosperous future for this representative of the medical profession.
L. R. Chaput,
i> X Massachusetts.
When we began our Sophomore year this young gentleman was found in our midst. He began to study the first day and has continued persistently. Need- less to say, he is one of our best men. During the three years he has been with us he has missed but one roll-call. As to the cause of this there is still some doubt, but we are inclined to believe that Cupid was involved.
His future success we are assured of, as he possesses all the requirements for the same.
30
A. F. Compton,
0 X
Moundsville, W. Va. Sergeant-at-Arms 1915-1916.
Filmore came to us from the Univ. of West Virginia, having spent his first two years there.
He is a jolly good fellow and a good student. He is another true admirer of Venus, which will doubtless be respon- sible for him specializing in Gynecology. Daily he reads the Moundsville Echo. Success awaits him.
E. P. Dunne, A.B., Connecticut.
"Ed" comes to us from Holy Cross, where he received his "A.B." degree, xle is an earnest student, a baseball pitcher of no little ability and a room- mate of "Bill" Flynn. We wish him success in his chosen profession.
31
M. Feldman, Baltimore, Md.
Feldman is one of our most constant workers. From his freshman year he has complained of too many holidays. He is always ready . for an argument on the day's recitation, and can usually be found in the front row during the quiz — that is, if the missiles do not have an unusual amount of speed. Sternburg and Feld- man are inseparable companions, and be- tween lectures they seldom err — ? We expect to see his sign on Gay street in the near future.
Fred. Eyestone, Ohio.
Fred, is one of our jolly, good-natured, go-easy lads. He is one of our best stu- dents, and a good representative of his State.
We predict for "Fred" an early matri- monial adventure, as he is peculiarly sus- ceptible for things feminine.
32
W. H. Flynn,
X Z X
Connecticut.
"Bill" always wears a pleased expres- sion. He probably is the inspiration of most of the amusement of our class. He never worries, not even about exams. "Bill' is a hard worker, and one of our best students. Ask Aikman for his chief complaint. We wish him success.
M. J. Foley, "Pat," K '/' Connecticut. Member of Executive Committee.
"Pat" is a member of the light-weight class and is one of the original forty- three. He has a very pleasang counte- nance, and during his time with us his "Lush" temper has been aroused only once, and that was due to the effect of large quantities of "Cachos." He is a good worker and has many friends. Our best wishes to him.
33
R. K. Foxmell, "Foxe,"
X Z X
Maryland.
Vice-President 1914-1915.
"Foxie" comes to us from St. Man's county, but has never been known to boast of that fact. Since being with us, he has been a conscientious worker and has made good as a student, his specialty being things practical.
He is very fond of the gentle sex, and a rival of "Lup" for the title of "Ladies' Man." We have every reason to believe that he has fallen a victim to the chorus of one of the "Old Dominion's" fair daughters, and we predict an early termi- nation of his single blessedness. We ex- pect him to be a bright light in the medi- cal world some dav.
F. Goxzales, Porto Rico.
Four years ago Gonzales left Lores. P. R., for Baltimore, to enter our Fresh- man Class, and now awaits the end of the College session, when he may return to his home as M. D. During his stay he has worked consistently and made many friends. Within a few years we expect to hear that he has built up an ex- tensive practice on the "Island."
34
E. T. GrEuTzner,
2' <I> I: § B II
Greenock, Pa.
"Dutch" face, fat and bald, has won much fame as a pediatrician during his one year's service at the Nursery and Child's Hospital. He is an enthusiast of the Harley-Davis, and can often be seen making new records and worrying the traffic police of Baltimore. But the girls say his speed is not entirely limited to motorcycles.
"Dtuch's" previous experience and hospital training assures him of success. We all have confidence in his ability and wish him well.
J. R. HEGE, North Carolina.
He is one of the representatives of the "Old North State," and his disposi- tions is that of a Southern gentleman. Hege, like most from his section, is a great admirer of things feminine, but he does not let this come between him and his work. May he be successful in the Profession of Medicine.
35
L. H. Howard, X Z X
Maryland.
This young man is in a class by him- self. He rarely laughs, and yet he rare- ly misses anything funny, probably be- cause the best wits laugh least. His sure knowledge, his brevity, his superb in- difference to obstacles, great or small, have marked him as one of the leading students of the class. Knowing so much and having so little to say assures him success in the honorable profession.
Paul M. Kyle, "Duke,"
6 A' I; 'I' B II
Clarksburg, W. Va.
This man of experience gave up his life along the Mexican border as a cav- alryman for Uncle Sam, and hiked off to the far away East to become a gen- tle administering angel. YVe "roped" him for his Sophomore Year. His rare wit and dry humor are a few of the many assets of his pleasing personality. 'We call him "Duke" because of his phenom- enal ability of producing mustaches.
But he has a serious side. Courteous and gentlemanly, determined and fair- minded, he has the qualities that will cause us to hear from him as a physician and surgeon.
36
H. D. Law,
* x
West Virginia.
Harry is one of the many representa- tives of the "Panhandle State." His fondness for the nurses has reached a stage of malignancy, but it seems prob- able that many of us would have fallen as he has — if we were to receive so many calls at 2 A. M.
He was originally of the Class of 1915, but in the fall of 1914 he had a severe case of diphtheria and had to discontinue school for the remainder of that year.
Law is a good fellow and a very ener- getic student. YVe have confidence in his ability and expect him to do well.
Charles H. Luptox,
0 x
Xorth Carolina.
Historian 1915-16.
"Lup" hails from the "Old North State," and during the four years we have known him, his life has been an unfading flower, which typifies every vir- tuous characteristic of a real Southern gentleman.
He is a hard worker, and as a student has done exceedingly well.
He is very popular with the fair sex, but so far has been successful in dodging Cupid's arrows, though he admits sev- eral narrow escapes.
His congenial manner has won him many friends, and we predict a bright future for him.
37
W. L. Maddex,
(p X
New Jersey. First Vice-President, 1915-1916.
Madden hails from the "Mosquito" State. He is a pleasant chap and a hard worker. 'We must state that he is some "ladies' man," as they like his quiet way and lasting smile. 'We do not know his specialty, but we are assured that he will not work in a "Pest House," on account of his careful manner of handling "bugs" in the bacteriological laboratory.
F. G. Martin, Maryland.
On consulting Jetney's horoscope we find that he is not happy when alone, al- though he may surround himself with luxuries. So. no doubt, he will early become a Benedict and lead a peaceful and happy life thereafter. He is an excellent student and has many friends. We predict lots of success for "Frank."
38
J. H. Mathai,
Illinois.
He is a man of much ability and strong character. During his time with us he has proven himself to be an excellent ex- ample of ambition and determination.
His pleasant moments are spent with his friend Shetter, with whom he is al- ways seen.
Being a great advocate of things prac- tical, and having the ability to apply his theoretical knowledge, we are assured that he will be one of the great physi- cians of our country.
L. S. Miliar, 0 x
Maryland.
Of a congenial disposition and jovial manner, you have to know him to find out his depth. He is pure in heart, as he is noble in thought. For the most part, he is an extraordinary good man, a good student and a good fellow.
His only bad habit is asking too many questions. No doubt, this will be over- come in a few years.
39
R. R. Morales, Porto Rico.
Morales hails from Cabo Rojo, P. R. He began with us as a freshman. He is an extremely quiet student, but always up to the mark in his studies. He should make an excellent physician, and the class wishes him success.
K. E. McCamey,
f a <l>
Parkers Landing, Pa.
It is not egotism, but "gray matter." He is not a grind, but a student, and we predict for him a very worthy and pros- perous future.
"Mac" also is a faithful follower of Venus, and can often be found in pur- suit of ? His only trouble is his
head is rather large and slowly increas- ing. It was officially announced that he has the highest average at the last meeting of the "Eastern Shore Endur- ance Club."
40
|
^^^^k |
|
|
^B*#^ |
BHDfi |
|
;^ •*•' |
|
|
■EC K |
George McLean,
* .v Baltimore, Md.
Gentlemen, behold this countenance. It is his good jokes and his comical way of telling them that keeps the boys in good humor and makes the time pass quickly. He is one of our best students, always ready for work and willing to assist his classmates.
T. F. O'Brien, "Oby,"
X Z X
Connecticut
Second Vice-President, 1915-1916.
We have only to look at his face and name to diagnose his nationality. "Oby," as he is known to us, is one of our best students, and his readiness to help others, his constant smile and his even temper have endeared him to us all. If his pa- tients are equal to his patience, and we feel sure they will be, his success in life, both as a man and doctor, is certain. He has our hearty wishes for the best.
41
G. O'Neill, Jr., q r <i>
New York. Sergeant-at-Arms, 1914-1915.
"Gonnie" entered with us in the fall of 1913. Since that time he has been a con- sistent worker and is an excellent stu- dent. His pleasant disposition has won for him many friends. We are sure he will make a good physician.
A. F. Petersen-, "Pete,"
Brockton. Mass.
Member of the Executive Committee.
"Pete," as he is known to us, hails from the "Bay State" and belongs to the Royal Family of "Swedes," both of which he is very proud. "Pete" has great faith in Dover's Powders, his therapy of same being in advance of Hare.
He is a hard worker and has been a great, practical man throughout his four years. In passing from the rank of stu- dent to that of doctor he takes the best wishes of the class.
42
G. R. Post,
<I> x
West Virginia.
President, 1915-1916.
He comes to us from the snow-clad hills of West Virginia. Post is our foremost admirer of the fair sex ; but, like other great men, "duty comes first." Osier seems to be his hobby, although he is not satisfied until he expresses his own opinion about the case.
During the latter part of his junior Year, when the sky was dark from the approach of Dr. Charles Simon's exami- nation, he decided to cast his fate with the Germanys, changed his name to Pfost and make a hit. Post is always in the first row, at 9 A. M. quizzes and Clinics, and is an excellent student. On entering upon his chosen work he has our best wishes.
J. G. Savannah, New Jersey.
Quiet, unassuming, always eager for work and ready to speak a gentle word of encouragement to his fellow-class- mates, "Joe," with his tonsorial effects, always makes an imposing appearance at our Saturday A. M. clinics, His greatest ambition is to eradicate his native state from "Anopheles." We have great con- fidence in his ability.
43
A. G. Suet her, 4> X
Pennsylvania.
This young man is the proud father of two sons. Deciding before entering upon his medical course that it was too much for one alone, he quickly embarked upon the sea of matrimony. To his friends he is gentle, and we all stand up to say. He is a man, and expect great things of him.
W. F. Shirkey, "Shirk," "Abe."
0 B n
West Virginia.
"Shirk" comes from West Virginia, and for this reason we deem it wise to pry deeply into his past life. But we do know that in his two years with us he has accomplished much, both as a stu- dent and a society leader. No doubt, there will be many aching hearts in South Baltimore yearning for the smil- ing face and curly crowned head of Dr. Shirkey.
Beloved by the ladies, as well as his fellow-students, "Abe," with all his traits, has none which marks his char- acter so promisingly with assurances of future greatness and success as his un- stinted willingness for hard work and mighty effort.
44
A. Sternbukg. Palestine.
Sternburg came to us from Palestine two years ago. He spent his first two \ears at the Syrian Protestant College, and came to Baltimore at the suggestion of Dr. Harry Friedenwald, who came across "Sternie" during his visit to the other side. He is fond of discussions on medical topics. We are sure his aggres- siveness will bring him success. His spe- cialtv will be the eye and ear.
E. F. Syrop, <P J E
Xew York.
He started with us in his Sophomore year, and it was not long before we real- ized that his winning smile and conge- nial manner attracted the ladies. Besides he is a good student, especially strong for "snapshot" diagnoses. He expects to follow his graduation by extensive hospital practice. Best wishes extended to him.
45
II. D. Wolfe, Jr.
'P x
Maryland.
"Hump" is one of our most worthy representatives of the "Monumental City." He has been a very active and a persistent worker thruout his four years. Several times — yes. several times — he has fallen prey to the charms of Cupid, but so far he fights the battle of life alone.
During his Senior year he has been an X-rav assistant, an evidence of his effi- ciencv. He has been able to demonstrate the "Duodenal Cap" to Dr. Lockwood. Wolfe has surgical aspiration, and we will no doubt hear from him in that line.
!!!:!j;ii!3ii;[h:i:i!iiii!;!;iiiiiiii;LE
(The 20th (fettanj.
ti?* t£* t?*
Steam is superseded, electricity is king. The 40-horsepower engine is quite a
common thing. We have the wireless telegraph o'er all
the land and sea, We're playing machine pianos without
ever touching a key. The belly-ache we used to have is appen- dicitis now. We are eating creamery butter that never
saw a cow. Progress is our motto, new things have
come to stay. But. thank God, they still make babies in
the same old-fashioned way.
a
46
Alexius McGovern, M.D.
UCCESS in Medicine comes only to him who has given his best
to his profession. Under the most favorable circumstances the way
is long and weary. Obstacles are numerous, and discouragement is
frequent. He who would succeed must have a valiant soul, a stout
heart, and a persistent optimism.
The Annals of Medicine are filled with the records of heroes. Trudeau's recent death, in the fullness of his honors, makes it timely to recount his deeds, to point out his example, to show that as fire is the test of gold, so adversity is the test of a man's strength, and that success and reward will come to him who can translate the stubbornness of fortune sweetly and find good in everything.
On November 15th, 1915, Edward Livingston Trudeau died at his home in Saranac Lake, New York. Forty-two years before he came to the Adiron- dacks a helpless invalid. He lived to contribute more than any other American to the welfare of those suffering from tuberculosis.
One incident after another in Trudeau's life shows how adversity may be the spur to ambition, and how the struggle for necessities may give strength and courage for high achievement.
Stricken with tuberculosis while yet a medical student, Trudeau's infection was not recognized until nearly four years of intensification made manifest a serious lung involvement. Then the knowledge came with all the calamity of inevitable fatality, for in 1872 pulmonary tuberculosis was considered absolutely fatal.
Bereft of hope Trudeau began his career in the ruins of disaster. In the summer of 1873 he came to the Adirondacks a helpless invalid, feeling that if he had but a short time to live he would satisfy his longing for the rest and peace of the great wilderness.
Llere he found relief from his illness, and began the work which first offered hope to the consumptive and "took from the diagnosis of tuberculosis the sin- ister meaning that attached to it in the early seventies. He lived forty-two years of fulfillment. Before his death he saw his life work completed in the develop- ment of the Adirondack Cottage Sanitarium for Incipient Tuberculosis, and his last years were full of honor and reward.
No man felt more frequently the "slings and arrows of outrageous for- tune." On the other hand, no man was more bleased with good friends. "The generosity and readiness with which people have given me money has ever been and is even now a matter of wonderment to me. This he tells us in his
47
SUCCESS IN ADVERSITY-Continued.
Autobiography, and a reading of the chronicle of his eventful life makes clear to us what was a matter of wonderment to him.
Bravery in desolation, cheerfulness in disaster, courage in misfortune, res- ignation in affliction, determination in the face of obstacles and abiding faith in the future, came to him when despair would have overcome a weaker man. In the wilderness, he was the first man in America to grow the tubercule bacillus on artificial media. In the little frame closet, from the ruins of which came Phcenix-like the Saranac Laboratory for the Study of Tuberculosis, he began the scientific investigation of the disease and its treatment. Here he studied, and proved the uselessness of the popular and vaunted remedies of earlier days. Here he proved, by animal experimentation, the need of food, air and rest, and only these, for the cure of tuberculosis. And by this he laid the secure foundation for the success of the Adirondack Cottage Sanitarium, which has been the inspiration of similar institutions everywhere. State after State has erected its sanitarium, until the country is dotted with them, shrines to his memory, living expressions of his "unquenchable sympathy for all tuberculous patients." A sympathy which grew no less through a lifetime spent in trying to express it practically.
.(Eljutktng.
If you think you are beaten, you are ;
If you think you dare not, you don't. If you'd like to win, but you think you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't. If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out of the world we find Success begins with a fellow's will —
It's all in the state of mind. If you think you're outclassed, you are ;
You's got to think high to rise. You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize. Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man ; But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.
W. D. W.
"\
\
THE GAME GIRL
APR 1 6 1940 The Doctor's Heaven.
I dreamed that I was talking With a Doctor old and gray,
Who told me of a dream he had — I think 'twas Xew Year's Day.
While snoozing in his office
The vision came to view. For he saw an angel enter.
Dressed in garments white and new.
Said the angel: "I'm from heaven.
Peter sent me away down To bring you up to glory
And put on you a golden crown.
You've been a friend to every one, And worked both night and day ;
You've doctored many thousands, And from few received your pay.
So we want you up in glory.
For you have labored hard. And the good Lord is preparing
You eternal just reward."
Then the angel and the doctor Started up to glory's gate.
But when passing close to Hades The angel whispered, "Wait."
I've a place I want to show you, It's the hottest in all hell,
Where the ones who never paid you In torment must always dwell.
And behold ! the Doctor saw there His old patients by the score ;
Then grabbing up a chair and fan He wished for nothing more.
Just content to sit and watch them As they sizzle, singe and burn.
And his eyes would rest on others, Whichever way they'd turn.
Said the angel : "Come on, Doctor," There the pearly gates I see ;"
But the Doctor only murmured, "This is heaven enough for me."
■iiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
50
3Ju«inr Class History.
fe§6 *J£
f^HE class of nineteen-seventeen is the smallest in the history of the school. However on October 1, 1915 an enterprising bod y of fellows, flHmuV with heads high, and breasts puffed out, were seen in the halls of school prepared to embark out into their Junior year. To our sor- row we noted that some of our former classmates fell by the wayside. Some new members were seen to whom we extended the hand of welcome.
In this year we realized how very important every part of our previous years of fundamental work was. The class was soon divided into sec- tions for their respective work. Very soon we were busy at our work in the practical side of medicine.
Thus at the flaming forge of life,
Our fortunes must be wought ; Thus on its sounding anvil shaped,
Each burning deed and thought.
Our course went most serenely, and it introduced us into many new sub- jects and branches of the wonderful unlimited domain of medicine. In this year for the first time we came into contact with the human, real live patients, not those spoken of, and described verbally as in our first two years. We saw the clin- ical side of medicine. The dispensary, the wards, the clinics, all inspiring and new, attracted us magnetically. Here we were able to apply some of our stored knowledge that was gained in the Freshman and Sophomore years.
It was shortly after this time that we elected officers for the class. "The ticket" was made out and voted upon after a little wrangling, and the officers were elected "fraternally." They were :
W. E. Maddison President
H. W. Wheaton Vice- President.
L. J. Bole Secretary.
L. A. Lasher Treasurer.
Louis A. M. Krause Historian
F. L. Smith, H. D. Ketcherside Sergeants-at-Arms.
A few vacancies on the Clinic Board were filled at this time also. The months rolled by, disturbed only by an occasional cry from the clinic men. "Sub- scribe to the Clinic."
52
JUNIOR CLASS HISTORY-Continued
This year, according to a ruling of the faculty, the examinations held at the end of the first semester heretofore were omitted. This was a source of joy and pleasure to some few, but nevertheless to the majority of the members of the class it was recognized as a "last chance for review" of the half year's work up to then. We now entered upon ou Christmas vacation.
When we returned studies, of course, were resumed as before. Our schedule was followed closely, interrupted only now and then by a stray exam. College Night was arrived at. This was held on January 29, 1916, at the Academy of Music, with the play "Margaret Schiller." A very enjoyable evening was spent, However, it must here be mentioned how very poor the spirit of loyalty is de- veloped among many members of the class, and especially among those of differ- ent classes.
For the past months nothing but steady concentration has characterized our noble set. The keel of our ship still struck an occasional examination, which was easily cleared. An exacerbation of pleasure and diversion was enjoyed when Dr. William Simon gave an illustrated lecture on Lumiere Photography. Dr. Simon explained the use of color photography in art and science, and pointed out the many ways it could be applied.
The days sped quickly by, and the final examinations were beginning to make their appearance on the horizon. Before they arrived, however, the Clinic Board called for the chronicle, but the history of the class ceased not here ; but its members will continually be spinning the threads for the history for our 1917 and
"With a class making history
By act and thought and word, Shall annals lack wherein its praise
And glory may be head?
Where they may read the story
Of days long since gone by ; Where they may see beginnings Of projects bold and high.
On them be every blessing,
I fill the brimming glass To them, the body, blood and bone
The Nineteen Seventeen Class.
Louis A. M. Krause, Historian.
53
Secretay
L. T- Bohl
Jfmttnr Class Officers
President W. E. Maddisox
]' ice-President H. W. Wheatox
Historian L. A. M. Krause Sergeants-at-Arms
H. D. Ketcherside
«^w fcj*
Treasuer L. A. Lasher
L. L. Smith
arinss
Bloom, G. H Pennsylvania
Bloom, L. H Pennsylvania
Bohl, L. G New Jersey
Champlix, R. D New York
Clark, F. H Georgia
Eleder. F. C Maryland
Gallagher, W. E Xew York
Hertzog, F. C Pennsylvania
Ketcherside, H. D Arizona
Krause, L. A. M Maryland
Easher, L. A Pennsylvania
Wheatox , W. H
Maddisox, W. E L'tah
McClixtock, G. L Maryland
Moxtgomery. M. T .... Pennsylvania
Movers, E. D West Yirginia
Nohe. C. C West Yirginia
Peery, C. E Yirginia
Rigby, S. B Utah
Smith, L. L Oklahoma
Tierxey. E. F Rhode Island
Yiewig, M West Yirginia
Weber, J. J Maryland
Xew York
54
x^„If„„„I„I„„I,„t„„II,VlI„f„„„„„IIt<„, „„„„„'„«..
Vrt«.V^VAViWWdW^W«V.««¥MVlVH¥.Vimi«VfVrtViVrt.V/«i//-4,
Mt$ Horn? Stoum
t^* f^* <^*
Some men leave home for money
And some leave home for fame, Some seek climes always sunny,
^ "hile others leave in shame. I care not what the reason
They travel East or West, I know that in every season
My home town is the best.
My home town is a glad town
Where something real abides ; It's not the money-mad town
That all its friendship hides. Tho strangers scoff and flout at.
And even jeer its name, It has something about it
No other town can claim.
Our skies look always blue,
Thruout the livelong day, Our home town friends seem true
And kinder every day ; And whether gluin or cheery,
Light-hearted or depressed. Or all worn out and weary,
I like my home town best.
Old Man, if you want such a home,
Where you can really live, Why further do you have to roam?
Come, see what we can give. We welcome you to our town,
I'll greet you at the door. Just let your grip and trunk down
And live in Baltimore.
F. C. Eleder 55
G. H. Bloom, 0 x
New Jersey. Editor-in-Chief 1916 Clinic.
Here is the original swastika! Affec- tionately known as "Hour," "Blossom" or "Skinny." Hailing from the State of Graft, he was unanimously elected Ed. in chief of this book. Gaze on the coun- tenance of this Adonis. Is there any wonder we have had an increase in ca- davers the last three years. He has a method all his own. With his brains and ingenuity, we predict a bright future for this fellow.
L. H. Bloom,
<P x
Xew Jersey.
Advertising Manager 1916 Clinic.
Behold, gentle reader, a regular guv — "Fat's," the official moving picture oper- ator of the class. The only man in the bunch who had the nerve to give an anaesthetic after eating a whole raisin pie. ( He went to sleep twice on the job, too.)
A conscientious worker and a first- rate fellow. "First in peace, first in war and first in the hearts of his srans:."
56
Louis J. Bohl, Paterson, X. J.
This enterprising Junior hails from the land of the "Skeeter." and our diag- nosis is that those same little "Jersey skeeters" were the antigen that pro- duced this "Prince of Good Fellows. We who know him well know that he has a heart as big as a house, and when it comes to picking a man, broad-minded, just to all, a friend to friends, we hand him the palm without hesitation. His hobby is automobiles, and we suspect he rides his hobby unmercifully during vacations. His versatility in making friends and keeping them makes his prognosis as a successful doctor.
R. D. Champlix.
0 X
Hobart. Xew York.
This is "Champ" the spot and So- ciety Lion, from Hobart, X. Y. Who ever heard of Hobart? He is a good student and should have a B. S. degree. It is claimed that a light is always burn- ing in his room after 12 M. Keep it up. "old man," and in the future you will pull your beard, for you will have no hair.
Fred H. Clark,
* b ll
Georgia.
Business Manager 1916 Clinic.
Y. M. C. A. Cabinet Member.
Tall, slim and never had the Hook- worm, even if he does come from the South. He loves the women, but the women never love him. He has been a great lover of rabbits until the Pasteur Department dissolved, and now his sole desire is to see the 1916 Clinic a suc- cess. We all wish him well, as we know he shall suceed, and hope he lives to see his dreams come true.
Fraxkux C. Eleder, <I> b II
Baltimore. Md.
A great admirer of the beauties ( ?) of his native city. He is good-natured, and his smiling countenance has won him a place in the hearts of his classmates. Xext to Cumberland, his greatest hobby is his pipe. A good fellow and a better student. We predict a brilliant future in his chosen profession.
58
W. E. Gallagher,
Niagara Falls, N. Y.
"Naturally," coming' from Niagara Falls, you would expect him to show some Canadian tendencies. Last Fall found him a member of our class. His broad benevolent Irish smile makes him popular among the students.
Baltimore seems to agree with him, judging from his robust figure and his never-failing appetite. In fact, we think at times he suffers from "Bulimia." His chief specialty is pie. Our class is united in wishing him success, which he un- doubtedly will have, owing to tireless studv.
F. C. Hertzog, * b II
Pittsburgh, Pa. Advertising Manager 1916 Clinic
He says that he is one of "God's Chosen," but we believe he is Dutch.
This athletic youth stands well in his class, is liked by everyone, and when it comes to the ladies, he has no superior.
59
Hillary D. Ketcherside,
'/> X
Arizona. Treasurer 1916 Clinic.
Our X-ray model. Six foot two and the burro rider of the Far West. Is showing a great tendency for laboratory experiments. He has recently made sev- eral interesting observations while ex- perimenting with animals, one of which is the production of steriling in the "Wolf."
His first article will soon appear in print, entitled "The Inhibitory Effect of x-rays on the Secretory Organs of Body and the Unusual Attraction of the Femi- nine Laity."
We all feel that "Ketch" is well on the road to fame, and when in the land of Sunshine and Opportunity — "The West" — he will make good.
Louis A. M. Krause,
Baltimore, Md.
Historian of Class,
President Y. M. C. A. Cabinet,
Literary Editor 1916 Clinic.
Nature has lavished this young man with individuality and character, which, coupled with his aptitude for mental work and capacity to absorb knowledge, will make him a success.
He is the youngest member of the class and the man to be depended on for ready knowledge when we are stranded. We expect to hear of this German as a contributor to future medical work.
60
L. A.- Lasher,
<I> b II Pennsylvania.
This son of the Keystone State, fa- miliarly known as "Sam," is one fellow of whom we can truthfully say, "his smile won't come off." Seemingly al- ways right side up, with a good word for everyone. If his success as a doc- tor is in comparison to his popularity with his classmates, why, we'll bet our wisdom teeth that "Sammy" will show the natives the whole 360 degrees.
W. E. Maddison, <I> X
President 1915-1916.
Advertising Manager 1916 Clinic.
Madison is another son of the Golden West. In the two years that he has been with us he has won such a place in our hearts that it is impossible to tell of our esteem for him on this small space. He has such a personality that we are sure he will make a success in the line of work he is preparing for.
61
G. L. McClintock, <P X
Baltimore, Md.
Art Editor 1916 Clinic.
Here's to McClintock, an artist of note, Who came to this college from a school
not far remote To study the practice of "Getting your goat." Now "Mac" is a prince, as you readily
can see, And possesses rare knowledge in "Gall Stonery." Among his classmates he is a man of
great fame And they are always shouting his name, For "Mac" is one fellow who does not bellow When the cigarettes disappear from the case bearing: his name.
Mattisox J. Montgomery,
0 B II
"Mont," as he is called by all, is a rare character. You have heard the term "A Regular Fellow?" This term must have been tailored to his measure. It fits like skin. Mont is known for his good na- ture and versatility. He can make any- thing go, from a mandolin to an eight- cylinder 60-horsepower. For further in- formation ask any girl.
62
E. D. Movers,
Literary Editor 191 6 Clinic.
Cabinet Y. M. C. A. 1914-15-16.
Yes, he is from West Virginia, al- though one would not think so, judging from his mild features. A son that would gladden the heart of any mother. Does not smoke, chew or drink, and stands in awe of the opposite sex. Moyers is a hard-working, conscientious student, and he is universally liked by all members of the college. His only fault is "Red Vision."
C. C. Nohe, X Z X
West Virginia.
He came into our midst in the Fall of 191 5. Is a stranger to us all. He is one of the many representatives from the "wilds" (W. Ya.j.
He is a good student and a pleasing personality, kind heart ; hence, combined with untiring efforts of study, an inevit- able success awaits him in the profes- sion he has chosen.
63
C. E. Peery,
<I> B II
^Yest Virginia.
"Pete" his everyday name, a chap from the hills of Burksgarden, Va., which he calls a city. He is a typical southerner, with a personality and a disposition which makes him one of the most popu- lar lads in the class. Pete is a student with untiring energy. He is a hand- some youth and causes many a female heart to flutter.
Samuel B. Rigby, A.B.,
Fairview. Utah.
Literary Editor 1916 Clinic.
Member of Y. M. C. A. Cabinet. 1915-1916.
One of the many from the Far West, who joined us in our Sophomore year, and since has become one of our best members.
He is a student, in the full sense of the word, and not a "server of time." He knows only that which is logical and correct. Reason is his "Natal Star," and this characterizes his personage at all times, and which will bring him results and success through the storms of life and in his profession.
64
Leo L. Smith, Sapulpa, Okla.
In the winter evenings, when the crowd congregates about the fireplace of the village store, the principle topic of discussion is the deeds of their two Na- tive Sons that has put Sapulpa, Okla., on the map.
One of these distinguished two is a great pugilist, the other is our class- mates Leo L., who is not only our great- est plugger but also, from his interest in getting us into our classes on time, has been dubbed the official announcer.
Edward F. Tierney, Rhode Island.
This youngster, a medical student by profession, a gentleman of leisure by in- clination, as evidenced by conspicuous absence from 9:00 A. M. classes, is wherewithal a lovable junior. We who know him well, know him to be as "square" as any, a practical thinker, slightly overburdened, with a combina- tion that makes one envied and popular ; namely, a heart willing and a hand ready to help any one of his friends, who are of such a number that their name is le- gion.
For His Face
We Made A Chase"
65
Max Yieweg, <1> B II
West Virginia.
Inspection immediately tells us that this man is from West Virginia and has been a drug mixer for some time prior to his medical career. With his large, blue eyes, light hair and ever-quenching smile, the opposite sex have quite an affinity for him, and says he has a sweet voice and taking ways. Max is a good fellow, a good student, and may his days and his tribe increase a hundredfold.
Johx J. Weber,
<P X Baltimore, Md.
John, as he is called by the students, is apparently the most studious of all the students in P. and S. He is practically always found reading the newspaper or his notes between lectures. Usually he carries about four thousand pages 01 notes, all of which he reads twice 01 thrice daily, and in addition to this he covers about three hundred pages of his medical text-books. His chief complaint is "Disturbance from study." Chief want, "a match."
66
H. W. WhEaton,
<P B II
New York. Grind Editor 1916 Clinic. Y. M. C. A. Cabinet Member.
The "Blonde" of the purest type, Byron comes from Gloversville, N. Y ., the North Pole itself, where the ther- mometer freezes, that it reminds one of a glacial palace.
"Chief." as he is known at home as well as abroad, attains and holds in sway this proud title from his rank among the fair sex.
His future will be a success and his specialty should be women's diseases, in- cluding all "Heart Complications.''
in ^ #lfom Bays.
The Ancients thought the world was flat.
And right they were. They've not the slightest doubt of that,
I must aver.
They had no banquets, benighted dubs.
To go to then. They had no cigarettes or clubs
Like modern men.
They had no chorus maids,
No quail on toast. No dames with flaxen hair,
No meat to roast.
They had no high-balls in their day,
No rye, no gin. They thought the world was flat, and say,
It must have been.
67
by DR. CHARLES E. SIMON.
iN THESE days of armed strife among the European nations we have been hearing a gree<t deal of the so-called German efficiency, and those whose interests and sympathies are "pro-ally" will tell you that what is termer German efficiency is nothing more nor less than a ^ carefully layed plan for the conquest and subjugation of the entire
world. But, as a matter of fact, we have been familiar with the same term for many years before the present war was ever dreamed of. Every housewife of experience can tell you a story of that, for there was a time not long ago when the possession of a German cook or a German maid was the one dream of her existence ; and why ? Because a German servant was efficient. Every manufacturer of experience will tell you the same — a German workman was prized especially because he was efficient. If a university need a professor, it sought one who had been trained in Germany ; and why — because the chances were that he would be efficient. Evidently, then, German efficiency during the war can only be a phase of a general efficiency which has been characteristically German for many years before. Evidently, also, it is a most desirable trait and one which is apt to lead to a position of trust and public appreciation. The question then naturally arises : what constitutes efficiency of this order, and is it a virtue that is congenital, or perhaps hereditary, or can it be acquired?
We have living amongst us many whose parents came to this country from Germany, and many whose German ancestry is more remote. If "efficiency" were a hereditary trait, we should find it as marked among the German descend- ants, as in the ascendency. But, as a matter of fact, this is not the case. To re- turn to the experienced housewife, she tell you with emphasis that the German- American cook is not to be compared with the native German, and that the de- sirable characteristics of the latter disappear in proportion to the rapidity with which she is melted down into the American proper. The old shoemaker's son around the corner isn't what his father was, and so on. We must then conclude that the efficiency which we are considering is an acquired trait ; and this being
68
EFFICIENCY-Continued.
so, there is hope that in the course of time there may develop an American effi- ciency as famous as that from which it will have sprung. And if it can be ac- quired, it is evidently our duty to seek to acquire it, but to do so he should have a fairly definite conception of what efficiency really is. To return to our sim- plest form of efficiency, viz., that of the German cook, what constitutes her do- mestic value? Is it mere intelligence or industry? Evidently not that alone. The housewife will tell you that Katie before her was a bright girl, and that Melinda certainly was industrious, but what makes Gretchen so valuable to her is that she is so dependable, and that she seems so interested in the welfare of the entire household, that she does things without being told, and that she does things for which she was not directly engaged. In other words, Gretchen has a sense of responsibility, and it is this factor, coupled with intelligence and indus- try, which constitutes efficiency, be this in the kitchen, in the factory, in the uni- versity or in our daily life ; and it is this factor of responsibility which is notori- ously lacking amongst us as a nation, and not only amongst us, but amongst na- tions themselves ; and it is the inculcation of this factor amongst the Germans, both high and low, and rich and poor, which has made Germany the great nation that she has become. It is this factor, also, which, other things being equal, will determine your failure or success in your professional lives. To be sure, with- out industry and intelligence there cannot be success ; but add to these elements the factor of responsibility, and your future will be guaranteed. Our national tendency is to give a dollar's worth for a dollar, but to forget that the average man expects more than a dollars' worth for his dollar. But the man of respon- sibility gives more than he receives ; he realizes that he has been engaged to do certain work and to furnish certain results, and to give the best that is in him to achieve this end. His pride lies in his work, and he does not allow the price he is paid to influence its quality. This, however, is exactly what the average man appreciates, and when there is appreciation the monetary recompense will not be lacking in the course of time.
If you are consulted professionally, bestow the same degree of study and attention upon the poor as upon the rich, and bear in mind that study you must as long as you live, if you would be efficient in your chosen field.
69
^0pjj0m0r£ Class History.
t^* t^* ^r*
ORRY ! but on our return to old P. and S. on October i we were
^*k greatly surprised on entering the Dean's office to be informed that
the work of the Sophomore class would be done at the University of
Maryland buildings, owing to the merger of the two schools, of which
we had been informed during our vacation, which was a pleasant one,
I think, to many of us after a hard year's work as Freshmen. However, there was nothing left for us to do but to go over to the U. of M. and get acquainted with the former freshies from that institution, and with us went several professors from P. and S., so we were not altogether in foreign lands.
It seemed that we were lost, as all the old faces of the upper classmen we were accustomed to seeing over around the P. and S. were missing, and there we were just a mere handful of homesick boys for old P. and S. Nevertheless, our bunch stick close together, and it was not long before the schedule, which was a full one, was understood by all of us, and we then didn't have time to think of our troubles, only plug.
After being over around the University for a while we became acquainted slowly and met some mightly nice boys in our class, and they seemed to ap- preciate our acquaintance.
Then, after we had become acquainted, it was thought well to choose a leader of the year, and as the leader of the previous year had handled the office so well he was re-elected. We carried a strong man over from P. and S. with us, and he was elected vice-president. The following are the class officers :
President I. O. Ridgley
Vice-President R. A. Pilsor
Secretary J. YV. Kelea m
Treasurer J. W. Keleam
Historian T. F. Thompson
Sergeant-at-Arms \Y. P. Griffiths
The time fairly flew, and as it was posted there would be no midyear ex- aminations, the boys began to think about home and mother just after Thanksgiv- ing, and on the iSth of December we started homeward to our respective homes, which were North, East, South and West, as we have men from all points of the globe in our class.
Returning just after the first of January, we were informed that we would have a few examinations, so we mustered ourselves together and rid our minds of these in good shape, and now finds us getting ready for the finals, which we hope to do away with as the others we have had thus far.
Although our number was small, compared with the number of men at the University, we showed them that we had the quality, and here's hoping that on our return to Baltimore next October it finds a good number of our present class assembling around the halls of old P. and S., as we feel that we now have a good foundation for the last two years' work.
T. F. Thompson.
71
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111
a. o
o i o. o in
#0pljmtt0r£ Class (§ff\ttrs.
G. S. Seal Secretary
W. M. Dillon C. C. CiiEsr.RO
Irwin O. Ridgely President
R. A. Pilson Vice-President
T. F. Thompson Historian
Honor Committee
I. W. Kellom Treasurer
J. Sindler F. Sebastan
Class &0IL
Allen, E. A., A.B Alabama
Block, David S Maryland
Briscoe, Everard Maryland
Bboss, Samuel Maryland
Chesbro, Charles C New York- Clark, H. C New York
Dalton, William B. .North Carolina
De Feo, Charles Connecticut
Deliz, Ramon C Porto Rico
Dillon, William M New York
Gavronsky, Samuel New Jersey
Griffith, W. P., A.B.. .Pennsylvania Hart, Crawford A., A.B...N. Carolina
Joyner, J. C N. Carolina
Kellam, J. W Virginia
La Rue, R. T Ohio
Lynch, R. A West Virginia
Macke, Clarence E Maryland
McDadE, B. B N. Carolina
McLeod, Walter G N. Carolina
Morgan, Zachariah G. . . .Maryland
Pilson, R. A Maryland
Ridgely, Irwin O., A. B.. Maryland
Rohles, Charles W Florida
Russell, Frank J Maryland
Seal, G. E West Virginia
Serastan, G N. Carolina
Sindler, Joseph Maryland
Speaker, Thomas C, A.B....Maryland
Sweet, Alfred N Connecticut
Taylor, W. F Pennsylvania
Thompson, T. F New Jersey
Trippett, L. PI West Virginia
White, S. Howard N. Carolina
73
Puzzler.
Where can a man buy a cap for his knee.
Or a key for a lock of his hair? Can his eyes be called an academy
Because there are pupils there?
In the crown of his head what gems are set
Who travels the bridge of his nose? Can he use, when shingling the roof of his mouth
The nails on the ends of his toes?
What does he raise from a slip of his tongue?
Who plays on the drums of his ears? And who can tell the cut and the style
Of the coat his stomach wears?
And the crook of his elbow be sent to jail?
And if so, what did it do? How does he sharpen his shoulder blade?
I'll be hanged if I know — do you?
B. E. T.
74
tu1
Jffrealjtttan Class history
^5* t2F* t2r*
HE history of this class may resemble those of many other classes in the fact that only a few events have interrupted the daily routine of lectures and laboratory work, but the history differs in that it is of a unique class.
The Class of 1919 is the first class to enter since the merger of the College of Physicians and Surgeons with the University of Mary- land School of Medicine.
It is also the first class in the history of either school to be composed of college men, which was due to the ruling of the American Medical Association, which went into effect January, 19 14, that every man had to spend at least one year in doing college work preparatory to entering upon his medical studies.
All of the work of the class has been done in the buildings of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. It is here that we were initiated into the mysteries of medicine.
The calendar of the class consists of only a few dates. October the ninth the election of class officers took place. From that time until shortly before the Christmas vacation we led an uneventful life. It was then that "agitators" appeared and were stopped at a meeting of the class on December the seven- teenth, when their "steam-rolling" methods were uncovered.
The holidays came, were soon over, and every one having recovered, all was again quiet. One balmy day in the beginning of February a rumor spread that one of our classmates would marry a woman because she was cursed with filthy lucre, and much of it. After threats and persuasion in various forms, on Feb- ruary the ninth he gave up his solemn promise not to bring disgrace upon the class.
March the ninth it was announced that our President had forsaken us. The Vice-President was elected to that office, and a new vice-president was elected to serve the rest of the year.
The end is not yet, but this book has to go to press.
J. A. B.
77
Br. Simon's ifetter.
1^* 9^* t&*
Dr. Simon's reply to a letter received by him from the Freshmen Class :
Catonsville, Md., December 16, 1915.
Freshman Class of the U. of Aid. Sclwol of Medicine and the College of Physi- cians and Surgeons.
My Deaf Boys :
I suppose you never succeeded in locating during your anatomical studies that spleen claimed to be located in the cranium, while on the other hand no doubt you have seen that spleen hidden below the ribs. I had never been made aware of having that organ, until the other day when it was hit by a powerful blow and a regular knock-out blow at that. Of course I considered myself in need of surgical advice or medical aid and several of my good friends were kind enough to examine the damage. They came and looked at that awfully sore spot ; they squeezed and hammered it, used the stethescope and thermometer ; they took the beats of the heart and the pulse, took the blood pressure and made an X-ray shadow-graph ; and when they were through with their examination and con- sultation, they gave the wise decision that my spleen was suffering from the con- sequences of having come into violent contact with some other object
"Learned friends," I said, "this much I knew before; but what do you pro- pose to do in order to give relief to my suffering?"
They looked at one another, and finally in their superior wisdom decided that I had to retire to my bed and keep quiet until nature had cured the damage. Now, this treatment is precisely the same which any old dog would adopt without any medical advice whenever he got badly kicked between the ribs ; he would get into his den and there remain until able to crawl out dead or alive again.
In oher words, there is nothing in our Materia Medica that is good for a diseased spleen. (Ask Professor Fort whether I am right or wrong.)
Now. my good friends, it appears that you, the youngest representatives of the medical fraternity, put your wise heads together with the view to select the proper medicinal agent. When it arrived I soon discovered that it acted spon- taneously and energetically on the whole system. Through the nostrils there came to me an invigorating fragrance of exquisite odoriferous compounds ; through my eyes I took in the exquisite beauty of color harmony. These impressions filtered through the brain way down into my heart and from there diffused through the whole system, the damaged spleen receiving its full share of the medicine. And now, my dear boys, I desire to thank you most heartily for having thought of the old man, and next I desire to congratulate you on your discovery of this new medicinal agent found in that wonderful plant, "Rosa Sympathetica."
Yours faithfully,
\Y. Simon. P. S. — You better bring your discovery to the notice of the world, either by the American Medical Journal or the College Annual.
78
^.YiViYuViY.iY.iiY^^
Swings ®0 Jtorrjet. I
e5" «^* 0* 3^
If you see a tall fellow ahead of a crowd. A leader of men, marching fearless and proud. And you know of a tale whose mere telling aloud Would cause his proud head to in anguish to be bowed. It's a pretty good plan to forget it.
If you know of a skeleton hidden away In a closet, and guarded and kept from the day In the dark ; and whose showing, whose sudden display, Would cause grief and sorrow and lifelong dismay. It's a pretty good plan to forget it.
If you know of a thing that will darken the joy Of a man or a woman, a girl or a boy. That will wipe out a smile or the least way annoy A fellow, or cause any gladness to cloy. It's a pretty good plan to forget it.
%»MAWVWWMJWMVWMW.U»MWW.^
79
Ill in
< j O
z <
I w
111
a.
1L
JffrtfsJjman Class ©fftcers.
Secretary W. M. Shaw
President
P. B. LonerGan
Vice-President
T. F. White
S erg ednt-at- Arms B. R. Murphy
Historian J. A. BuchnESS
Class &0IL
Abbott, L. S Missouri
Alagia, D. P Maryland
Alexis, J Pennsylvania
Barker., F. T Florida
BeachlEy, R. T . . . . '. Maryland
Boone, W. Jr South Carolina
Brown, J. Jr North Carolina
Buckness, J. A Maryland
Cam BELL, A. T Connecticut
Clauss, L. S Connecticut
Davis, C. W North Carolina
Davis, J. E Virginia
Demly, L. A Maryland
Flaherty, J. J Connecticut
FoosE, W Maryland
Fort, W Maryland
Franceschi, F Porto Rico
Geyer, W. C Maryland
Gleason, J. H Massachusetts
Goldsborough, C. R Maryland
Hartenstein, A. G...West Virginia
HelsabEck, C. J North Carolina
Horine, C. F Maryland
Ingram, W. H Maryland
JacobwiTz, A Pennsylvania
John, B. S .Virginia
Kenure, J. T Connecticut
Lonergan, P. B Pennsylvania
Lumpkin, M. S Maryland
McElwain, H. B Pennsylvania
Macis, S. A
MaslEy, M. G Pennsylvania
Mayoral, J Cuba
Morales, P Porto Rico
Murphy, B. R Maryland
Quintero, N Porto Rico
Reynolds, R. R Virginia
Richardson, R. W Maryland
Romine, C. C West Virginia
Shaw, W. McL., A.B.. South Carolina
Sheppard, H. Jr North Carolina
SneidErman, B. L. Connecticut
Stewart, C. W Maryland
TiemEyEr, A. C Maryland
Tiniko, L. M Pennsylvania
Vasquez, R Porto Rico
White, T. F Delaware
Whitted, W. P North Carolina
Wild, A Connecticut
Wright, H New York
81
PIIIIIIIIIIIIM
The Price He Paid.
A*
I said I would have my fling. ,
And do what a young man may; And I didn't believe a thing ,
That the parsons have to say. I didn't believe in a God
That gives us blood like fire, , Then flings us into hell because
We answer the call of desire.
And I said ; "Religion is rot,
And the laws of the world are nil ; For the bad man is he who is caught
And cannot foot his bill. And there is no place called hell ;
And heaven is only a truth ; When a man has his way with a maid.
In the fresh keen hour of youth.
And money can buy us grace,
If it rings on the plate of the church: And money can neatly erase
Each sign of a sinful smirch." For I saw men everywhere.
Hotfooting the road of vice; And women and preachers smiled on
them , |j
As long as they paid the price.
So I had my joy of life: ,
I went the pace of the town ; And then I took me a wife,
And started to settle down. 1 had gold enough and to spare,
For all of the simple joys. That belong with a house and a home
And a brood of girls and boys.
Siiihiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiih
82
THE PRICE HE PAID-Continued.
I married a girl with health
And virtue and spotless fame. I gave in exchange my wealth
And a proud old family name, And I gave her the love of a heart
Grown sated and sick of sin! My deal with the devil was all cleaned up,
And the last bill handed in.
She was going to bring me a child,
And when in labor she cried, With love and fear I was wild —
But now I wish she had died. For the son she bore me was blind,
And crippled and weak and sore ! And his mother was left a wreck.
It was so she settled myscore.
I said I must have my fling,
And they knew the path I would go ; Yet no one told me a thing
Of what I needed to know. Folks talk too much of a soul
From heavenly joys debarred — And not enough of the babes unborn,
By the sins of their fathers scarred.
E. W. W.
83
pljt feta pt iFratermty.
Chapter Rolls.
EASTERN PROVINCE Alpha — University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pa.
Zeta — Baltimore College of Physicians and Surgeons, Baltimore, Md. Eta — Jefferson Medical College, Philadelphia, Pa. Phi Psi — Medical College of Virginia, Richmond, Va. Chi — Georgetown University, Washington, D. C. Alpha Gamma — Syracuse University, Syracuse, N. Y. Alpha Delta — Medico-Chirurgical College, Philadelphia, Pa. Alpha Eta — University of Virginia, University, Va. Alpha Ni — Harvard University, Brookline, Mass. Alpha Omicron — Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, Md.
WESTERN PROVINCE Alpha Nu — University of Utah, Salt Lake City, Utah. Alpha Rho— Oakland Medical College, Oakland, Calif.
SOUTHERN PROVINCE Rho — Medical Dept. Vanderbilt University, Nashville, Tenn. Sigma — University of Alabama, Mobile, Ala. Alpha Beta — Tulane University, New Orleans, La. Alpha Kappa — University of Texas, Galveston, Texas. Alpha Lambda — University of Oklahoma, Norman, Okla.
NORTHERN PROVINCE Beta — University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, Mich. Delta — Rush Medical College (University of Chicago), Chicago, 111. Iota — College of P. & S., University of Illinois, Chicago, 111. Kappa — Detroit College of Medicine and Surgery, Detroit, Mich. Omicron — Indiana University School of Medicine, Indianapolis, Ind. Alpha Epsilon — Marquette University, Milwaukee, Wis Alpha Zeta — Indiana University School of Medicine, Bloomington, Ind. Alpha Mu — University of Louisville, Louisville, Ky. Alpha Pi — University of Wisconsin, Madison, Wis.
, CENTRAL PROVINCE Lambda — St. Louis University, St. Louis, Mo. Mu — Washington University, St. Louis, Mo. Xi— -University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minn. Pi — University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa. Tau — University of Missouri, Columbia, Mo. Alpha Alpha — John A. Creighton University, Omaha, Neb. Alpha Iota — University of Kansas, Lawrence, Kan.
85
ptjf 21 eta pi fraternity.
<P B II
D. M. AlKMAN
B. H. Biddle
E. T. Greutzner
Seniors
J. M. Cannon P. M. Kyle W. F. Shirkey
Juniors
F. H. Clark F. C. Eleder F. C. Hertzog L,. E. Easher
M. J. Montgomery C. E. Peery M. W. Vieweg H. W. Wheaton
E. Briscoe
L. S. Abbott J. H. Crockett L. A. Demley A. G. Harkenstein P. B. Lonegan
Sophomores
J. SlNDLER
Freshmen
R. T. La Rue
M. Maisley R. R. Reynolds C. C. Romine C. W. Stewart T. F. White
H. F. Wright
87
31
Ode To My Stomach.
(^* t&* t£r^
"What's the matter with you,"
Ain't I always been your friend? Ain't I been a partner to you ;
All my pennies don't I spend In getting nice things for you ?
Don't I give you a lot of cake? Say, stummick, what's the matter
That you had to go and ache? Why, I loaded you with good things
Yesterday, I gave you more Potatoes, corn and turkey than
You'd ever had before. I gave you fruit and candy,
Apple pie and chocolate cake. An' you couldn't hold another bit
Of puddin', yet last night You ached mos' awful, stummick ;
That ain't treatin' me just right. I've been a friend to you, I have,
Why ain't you a friend of mine? They gave me paregoric becoz'
You made me whine. I am feeling fine this morning.
Yes, it's true ; But I tell you, stummick, you better
Appreciate the things I do for you. Otherwise that Doctor will get the
Dough I spend for you — you know.
St. P. Y. M.
88
Plft Cljf ^fraternity.
Installed March, 1902
Delta Delta Chapter Flower— White Carnation
Founded 1878 at University of Vermont
Chapter Roll.
Alpha Medical Department of University of Vermont
Alpha Alpha Medical Department of University of Louisville
Alpha Theta Western Reserve University, Ohio
Alpha Mu University of Indiana
Beta University of Oregon
Beta Beta University of Maryland
Gamma Ohio State University
Gamma Gamma Medical College of Maine, at Bowdoin College
Delta Tufts College Medical School
Delta Delta College of Physicians and Surgeons of Baltimore
Epsilon Detroit College of Physicians and Surgeons
Zeta Medical Department of University of Texas
Theta Eta Medical College of Virginia
Theta Upsilon Temple University, Philadelphia
lota University of Alabama
Iota Pi University of Southern California
Kappa Georgetown University
Kappa Delta Johns Hopkins University
Mu Indiana University Medical School
Xi Texas Christian University
Omicron Tulane University, New Orleans
Pi Vanderbilt University
Pi Delta Phi University of California
Rho University of Chicago
Sigma Atlanta Medical School
Sigma Theta .University of North Carolina
Sigma Upsilon Leland Stanford, Jr., University
Tau University of South Carolina
Upsilon Pi University of Pennsylvania
Phi George Washington University
Phi Beta University of Illinois
Phi Rho St. Louis University
Phi Sigma Chicago College of ^Medicine and Surgery
Chi , Jefferson Medical College, Pennsylvania
Chi Theta .Medico Chirurgical College, Philadelphia
Psi University of Michigan
Psi Rho Sigma Northwestern University
89
Belta B*lta Chapter, $lji €1?L
Roll of Membership.
F. A. Beck L. R. Chaput A. F. Compton H. D. Law C. H. Lupton W. L. Madden
Seniors
J. H. Mathai G. McLean L. G. Miller A. F. Peterson G. R. Post A. G. Shutter
H. D. Wolfe
Juniors
G. H. Bloom L. H. Bloom L. J. Bohl R. D. Champlin
H. D. Ketcherside W. E. Maddison G. L. McClintock J. J. Weber
R. A. Lynch
Sophomores
T. F. Thompson
Freshmen
R. G. Beachley J. A. Bucpiness W. C. Foose
W. P. Whitted
R. A. Pilson
R. W. Richardson H. Siteppard A. C. Tiemeyer
91
Benedicts.
The Beginning of Matrimony and the End of Freedom.
[Illllllllllllllllllllllll!
BENEDICTINE
m
Bridegroom — Waiter, I hope you haven't told anybody here we are newly married?
Irish Waiter — Xo. sor. Oive kaped it a secret. Why. whenever anybody tries to pump me, sor, Oive told them you weren't married at all, at all.
He Would Recover.
Mrs. Gay (whose husband is ill from drink) — Well, doctor — tell me the worst.
Doctor Dosem — Well, Madam, he will recover.
She was the sort of woman who always tells everybody her business. With a cheery smile she settled herself at the counter of the hosier's shop and be- gan :
"My husband has just been very ill — very ill, indeed. So I have to do his shopping, and I want a shirt."
Certainly, Madam," said the assistant courteously. "Stiff front and cuffs?"
"Oh, no !" she exclaimed in horrified tones. "The doctor says he must avoid anything with starch in it!"
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BENEDICTINE-Continued.
His Expectations.
With the coming of the twins the entire household arrangements were sadly disorganized. Master Bobby and Miss Dorothy were relegated to the background, where they moped and sulked.
Bobby, more militant than his sister, was scouting through the upper halls one morning when he discovered the twins being prepared for their bath. Hav- ing in mind the fate of several litters of kittens within his knowledge, he rushed to the head of the stairs, and, beckoning to his sister, cried in a hoarse whisper:
"Dottie, come up, quick! They're going to drown one of 'em!"
He Knew.
Sweet Young Thing — Let us go into this department store until the shower is over.
Suffering Husband — I prefer the undertaker's. You won't see so many things you want.
A Bitter Disappointment. Doctor — You'll be all right in a day or so. It's nothing but a slight cold. Canny Patient — I was kind o' hoping it was malaria, Doc. I've got a lot of quinine an' I hate to see it go to waste.
Mutual Attraction. "So the telephone operator in the hospital is going to marry the surgeon?" "So I hear." "Affinity of tastes, I suppose. She cuts people off and he cuts 'em up."
The Spirit Within Her.
"So you're going to get a new family doctor in place of your old medical adviser, Mina, dear?"
"Oh, yes, he is too absent-minded for me. The other day he was examin- ing me with the stethoscope, and while he was listening he suddenly called out, 'Hello, who's this speaking?' "
A lady and her little daughter were walking through a fashionable street when they came to a portion strewn with straw, so as to deaden the noise of vehicles passing a certain house.
"What that for, mamma?" said the child.
The mother replied : "Why, the lady in that house has had a little baby girl sent her."
The child thought a moment, looked at the quantity of straw, and said : "Awfully well packed, wasn't she, mamma?"
And the Operator Spelled It Birth. An Edna man is wondering why his wife telegraphed her congratulations and best wishes in response to a telegram of his. He had engaged a berth ahead of time and was comfortably fixed. At one of the stations an aged woman boarded the cars, but the berths were all taken. The Edna man's chivalry came to her rescue, and he gave the old lady his berth while he sat up all night in the smoking compartment. The next morning he sent his wife the following telegram : "Gave berth to an old lady last night. Am all in."
NAMES OF BENEDICTS
A. G. SHETTER PAUL KYLE S. B. RIGBY F. A. BECK
B. H. BIDDLE W. E. MADDISON
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Y. M. C. A. OFFICERS
f. M. €. A. ©fitters
1^* Ggr^ f^*
President Louis A. M. Erause
Vice-President H. W. Wheaton
Bible Study Chairman W. E. Maddison
Literary Chairman S. B. Rigbv
Membership Chairman Fred H. Clark
Secretary J. R. Hege
Treasurer E. D. MoyErs
Social Chairman H. D. Ketcherside
Reading Room Chairman L. L. Smith
1. M. C- A. History
t^* t^* <^*
HE Y. M. C. A. at the College of Physicians and Surgeons is gradu- ally growing and beginning to occupy a position in the daily work of the students. One of the important roles the Y. M. C. A. plays is among the Freshmen. As soon as the new men arrive in the Fall the Y. M. C. A. workers make themselves acquainted with the fel- lows and their needs< They assist in securing respectable boarding and lodging accommodations for those who need such. In this connection it does not act in the capacity of an organization, but in a true brotherly way.
The Y. M. C. A. generally holds a students' reception a few weeks after the new students are all arrived and located. A social evening is enjoyed, fol- lowed by a lecture, and the purpose and object of the Association is explained at the close of the evening.
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Y. M. C. A. HISTORY-Continued.
Another part of the Y. M. C. A.'s work is that of furnishing the read- ing matter in the College Library. Magazines, journals and daily newspapers are placed at the disposal of the students at large.
A new feature of the Y. M. C. A. this year has been added. This is the weekly rneetings held every Wednesday at 8:40 A. M. A different speaker is secured for each meeting. Prominent men in all walks of life are obtained, such as doctors, ministers, foreign missionaries, business men, etc., have spoken in the past meetings, and their talks and counsels are very much appreciated. All the students are invited and urged to attend these meetings. Many stu- dents have taken advantage of them, and the talks have undoubtedly helped many, and served both for an opportunity of a temporary diversion from stu- dies and yet a source of knowledge.
Last vear a new epoch was marked, in that for the first time a delegate was sent to the Annual Y. M. C. A. Conference of Students held at Eaglesmere, Pa., from the College Y. M. C. A.
The Y. M. C. A. is the only organization in the College which is non- sectarian, and to which every man can and is urged to join.
96
OME have written of the lights by land and sea. Some of the lights of "The Great White Way." Kipling, of "The Light That Failed," I offer as an excuse for these lines the lure of a light that has never failed.
It was this fact that gave Kipling a chance to write the lines starting "A fool there was ;" and it gives me a chance to tell this tale of a doctor, a medical man by profession, a scientist by inclination, a man among men by sheer worth. Last summer I had the good fortune to attend a i banquet at the University Club in a certain town in Ohio, and one member, a Cornell man, by the way, after several maneuvers with his wine glass so forgot his usual reti- cence as to offer a story. Every one was, of course, eager to hear it, for Doctor
was just back from the Orient, and we had a premonition that his tale
would deal with his stay there. So we turned out all but the side lights, and
he began. "Fellows," he said, "do you remember Doctor ?" We all nodded,
for he spoke the name of a man lately famous because of work in a certain canal zone; also known to several of us years before as a "Frat brother." "Well,"
continued Doctor , "at school we were inseparable ; we spent our vacations
together. I always called him Bob, and Bob he'll be throughout this story. He was in love with a girl in his home town, and the nearest quarrel Bob and I ever had was because of a twinge of jealousy Bob felt about this girl's friend- ship for me. I'll tell you, boys. I was in love with her, too ; wildly, madly crazy over her, yet I would have lost my right hand before I would have let either of them know it. But even now I believe 'Little Rebel,' as Bob called her, knew how I felt all the time. Did you ever see the sea just after the sun has been shining brightly, then a cloud shuts it off? If you have, then you know how blue her eyes were. But I can't tell you of the soul that looked out of those eyes. Some things, you know, one can't describe ; you simply have to feel them. Well, it was a light — a 'well of light,' I should call it. A light that,
LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
while it showed you the beauty of the soul within, made you feel the rottenness of yourself, and made you buck up and resolve to someway live a little more like the man should who would feel worthy to follow this light. We were poor in those days, Bob and I, so we welcomed the commission from the Japanese Government to come as instructors in the new government medical school they were then just starting. So we said good-bye to our friends, and Bob to 'Little Rebel,' and we crossed the Continent to San Francisco in April, 1901. We sailed out of the Golden Gate May 2, 1901, on the steamship Tokio, bound from 'Frisco to the most important Japanese ports. The weather was ideal, and we passed the sun-kissed shores of Southern California, waving farewell to the last bit of land that showed as U. S. A.
"Bob wasn't his old self for several days, and, as I rightly guessed, the reason was a pair of blue eyes he had left among the flowers 'down home.' Finally he told me why. It seems her people had wanted Bob to give up the idea at first ; then to take her with him, as they objected to a long engagement. They had compromised by deciding to meet in 'Frisco at the end of two years, at which time if Bob wasn't ready to leave Japan, he could take the girl there. Our contract called for five years, with a reserve clause allowing us to quit on account of sickness. Soon Bob became his old self, and we amused ourselves by target practice and fencing. So the days passed, and we reached Tokio and were royally welcomed. Bob spoke Japanese fluently, and I had picked up a great deal of the language on the voyage. We planned that Bob should do the actual lecturing, while I should do most of the operating and laboratory work. We found an eager crowd of students, well-equipped buildings, and hearty co- operation from every one. Our quarters were luxurious, and we settled our- selves for a most promising time. Days, weeks, months, rolled by, each filled with variegated duties, crowned with many successes and a few failures. At- tentions were showered upon us, the best homes became as open to us as if we belonged there, and life was a dream. We could have gone on and on and on in this way, but here something happened, and that something was, Au Sen. You that have never been in the 'Flowery Kingdom' don't know what real flow- ers these are. I'll tell you it is their girls. Bob was so much in love with his 'Little Rebel' that he didn't even see them, I'm sure ; he simply looked through them to the girl back home who believed in him, who called to him awake and asleep.
"Then Au Sen broke into my life at the phychological moment, when of all times I was susceptible. I can't describe her, boys. I wouldn't if I could,
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'APR 1 6 1940
LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
tor she is dead now. and with her something from me died. A something I can't describe, except to say it left a vacancy somewhere and took the song, the sunshine, out of my life and — but, then, I'm getting ahead of my story. Xow the days became ever more paradise-like to me. Au Sen was a combination of the beauty of the West and the subtlety of the East : an elusive, intoxicating dream of exquisite femininity: as capricious as the wind, as wild as sea waves. Her eyes were magnets, dazzing brilliant, as blue as the clear heavens of her native land. There was a something — an intangible appealing, daring, calling something — in them that turned my head completely. Her voice, like liquid music, was the keynote that regulated all my plans. Her family was one of the best of Tokio, and finally came to show they were distinctly pleased with me : though at first as I look back on it, I remember that they showed only slight welcome. There was a furtive something in the air that should have warned me, a something that I now know to have been a fear on their part that I might form an interference with their plans. But as time wore on I am now sure they saw, even before anv one else saw, that I was as wax in the hands of Au Sen.
"Time wore on. and even I noticed slight rumors of Au Sen's people. Bot good. old. loyal Bob — had heard them and feared for me, hut he knew me well enough to know I wouldn't listen to even him. So he laid his plans alone. It seems Au Sen's father had been practically ostracized some years ago from court, even though he was too powerful to be punished by the Emperor, his cousin. But the blow the Emperor dealt hurt far worse than physical punish- ment would : for when you strike at a man's pride you are either a fool or a brave man. and I suspect you really should be classed as the first, in any case. At any rate, Au Sen's father had become the head of a Tong radically anarchist, powerful enough to sway the world once it was set in motion. So he planned to revenge his hurt without sacrificing his country. He was crafty enough to appreciate the strategy of using the American doctor to further his ends, and using the undercurrent of hatred the act by an American would produce to bind together the people of Japan in common hatred toward America.
"Au Sen's father made me the offer of the hospitality of his home. I sav offer. In reality it was a command, for Au Sen's father was virtually owner of the surrounding country, and his will meant the end of our stay. Bob did not say much, either for or against : only if I had not been blinded by my slave wor- ship of Au Sen. I would have read from his manner how stronglv he disap- proved. At any rate, I took up my residence, as requested, making my visits daily to the University ; in the evenings wandering through the gardens with
100
LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
Au Sen. She was not a party to her father's plans, for Japanese fathers stand in almost god-like attitude to their daughters and there is no interchange of con- fidence. My entrace into the Japanese Nobleman's house was regarded in Tapan as indubitable evidence that I was to marry Au Sen. The ceremony was set for the 'Feast of the Moon' (June 22). For days I had noticed that Bob did not look as well as usual ; his eyes seemed to have a mute appeal in them, but here I read it as a longing for "Little Rebel." We had been working on a peculiar case for several days. One of the students had developed a malady that puzzled us. Bob told me that for several days in succession he had been working with a mod- ification of Noguethi's test, and that at last it was positive. It was something very like leprosy, yet in the blood were peculiar bodies very like the Negri bodies of Hydrophobia, so that we felt that we had found a new disease, and we de- cided to call it in honor of an old favorite teacher, "Lockwood's disease." This student so reacting was Au Sen's cousin, a young man I had noticed often talk- ing to Au Sen's father. Meanwhile, preparations for my wedding went on. All the nobility of the empire were to be present, even the Emperor himself was coming. My own rooms were even decorated. They were peculiarly situated in relation to the other rooms on that floor. They consisted of a suite of three rooms, study, bed room and bath room, and they formed the perpendicular part of the letter T to the other suite of rooms on that floor. There was a communi- cating door between my study and the other suite, but it was locked, and I had never even seen the key. Time went on, and as I saw more and more of Au Sen 1 became even more enamored. She wasn't earthly, her form a living model of the Venus de Milo, her spirit the incarnation of spring. Ah ! Poe was right. "E'en the angels envied me." Two days before the "Feast of the Moon" the Emperor came. I wasn't there, but Au Sen told me in the evening that the "Little Father," as she called him. was there. That night I made a trip to the village for Au Sen's father to get some coolies he had hired to help during the ceremonies. We came back rather late, and after dismissing the servant I stopped in the garden to smoke a last cigar before going to bed. Looking back on that time now, I suppose I did spend over an hour in the garden, for on the morrow I was to be married, and the big yellow moon had set me to dreaming of my past, some of which came back, I remember, wyith distinctness in a com- parison to my present good fortune. I went up to my room, and I remember now that one candle was burning, even though I didn't remember at the time that I had not left a light burning. I passed into my study and fumbled over the reading table for a match. My fingers came in contact with some sticky
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LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
liquid, and I remember cussing my valet, thinking he had spilled the ink again. I finally found a match and struck a light. The first thing I noticed was my smoking jacket lying on the floor, and I had again cussed my servant and started to pick it up, when I noticed one of my fencing foils, a fine, genuine Toledo blade, lying near, and as I picked it up I saw a great pin, I called it. I now know it was a coronet, and my foil was blood-stained ! In consternation, i stared at my hand that had come in contact with the sticky liquid in groping for a match, and on it was blood, too ! Involuntarily I looked at the door lead- ing out of my study to the other suite, and now there was a key in the lock on my side of the door. While I was puzzling over these affairs there was a rush of feet on the stairs and Au Sen's father burst into my room, followed by sev- eral officers — men I had never seen before. I didn't understand their gibberish talking, but they pounced upon me and I was unceremoniously hustled to the village prison. No one vouchsafed an explanation. Next morning I bribed a guard to carry a message to Bob. The day wore on and no Bob appeared. Just after dusk one of the guards handed me a note, typewritten, not signed, but with the letters X. Z. X. at the bottom, so I knew it was from Bob, for those were the greek letters for the name of our fraternity. In the note Bob told me that an attempt had been made to assassinate the Emperor, and that I was accused. They had found me in my room with blood on my hand, my smoking jacket blood-stained, my fencing foil covered with blood, the communicating door showing a trail of blood leading under it and locked on my side, and the big Coronet, the hereditary jewel of the Emperor, containing jewels worth thou- sands, lying in my room. All together, it looked as if my conviction was only to be a matter of form. But, boys, someway even then I felt Bob would help me out. He pulled me through a case of pneumonia once when everyone else had given up hope, and I knew he'd fight to the last. You see, there was talk of lynching me, but even Au Sen's father knew an American couldn't be mur- dered without an investigation by Uncle Sam, that was likely to be embarrassing, to say the least. It seems, after all, that the Emperor wasn't killed, only badly stabbed, even though Au Sen and his crowd had thought he was ; and after they found out he wasn't, it was too late to finish the job, for his cabinet had taken charge. So Au Sen's father decided to play safe, for he had enough circum- stantial evidence to convict me in even an American court. I didn't hear from Bob for several days, then only a line telling me one word, a secret word of our fraternity meaning such to me that by it I knew he was working. Our Consul visited me, and even now I am not sure whether he felt sure at that time of my
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LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
innocence, for the jewels alone found in my room, were enough to cause a strong suspicion. The days passed and my case came to trial. I felt when I entered that courtroom that all Japan must be present. I saw but one friendly face, our Consul, and even his face expressed more pity than cheer. Neither Au Sen nor her father was present. I had never heard from Au Sen since my arrest, and I learned afterwards that her father had locked her in his study, not allowing a servant, nor even her mother, to see her. Two faces I did recog- nize in that sea of faces in the courtroom ; one, Au Sen's cousin, the one Bob and I had experimented with, and another man, the great scientist Noguchi him- self. Boys, some of you have read Hale's 'A Man Without A Country.' If you remember some of the lines, you can picture me in that courtroom. My only straw was the hope that Bob would come to help some way. The trial wore on, witness after witness piled evidence against me. Lower and lower sank my hopes and only one more witness was to be called, and as I looked at the jury I saw they had already judged me guilty. The last witness was a de- crepit-looking old man, and after one look at him I turned away. At the first sound of his voice, however, I started, for it was Bob. Never will I forget the sound of his voice. Talk about the music of the spheres, why 'twas the death- knell of fear. Clear and strong, his voice rang out. 'Your Honor,' he said, 'before I begin I ask that none be allowed to leave the courtroom.' The order having been given, Bob continued : 'Your Honor, you are a victim of a hoax. You are trying a man caught in a web, a plot woven to revenge political wrongs, and my proof is this: Some weeks ago two American doctors experimented with a new disease. They found a new reaction and new organisms ; distinctive, as they felt sure, from all others. They found that the blood of a certain man gave this reaction, and by so doing stamped a mark upon him superior to any Bertillon ear-mark — a sign so distinctive that this man could be identified among, so far as is known, all mankind. Your Honor, these doctors found that dried blood from this man gave the reaction as well as fresh ; in fact, even better ; and that it, too, showed the peculiar Negri-like organisms better than the fresh blood, too. the coagulation seeming to show the contrast with the fixed cells of the blood more clearly. Your Honor, I secured some drops of the blood leading under the door of the accused man's room, some from his jacket ; and. Your Honor, they gave this Lockwood's reaction. Your Honor, you have the jacket, and the man. Au Sen's cousin, who is the original these doctors dis- covered the reaction with, is here : Noguchi, the great blood specialist is present, and Your Honor' — here for the first time Bob's voice shook — T demand that
1U3
LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
Noguchi make the tests before the court.' In a minute Bob jerked off his dis- guise and he was recognized. The courtroom was pandemonium let loose. Finally order was restored and Au Sen's cousin was in chains. From his feet Noguchi lifted a case I had not noticed, and the old familiar apparatus was placed in order. First, with a Keidel tube, he took blood from the arm of Au Sen's cousin and made the test ; then he took from the coat several drops of blood and repeated the test. They were identical ! Xext he sprung a surprise on me at least for he demanded some of my blood. Again, this time with my blood, he repeated the test, but it was negative ! Scarcely had he announced his decision to the court when our Consul was on his feet, demanding my release. There was no other way ; even the crowd was with me. Talk about your third degiee, boys; I'll take off my hat to the Japanese. They brought Au Sen's cousin in the open space and two jiu jitsu artists took charge. For one hour and thirty-five minutes they tortured him, and then he broke down. The whole plot he told was diabolical. Au Sen's father had planned it all, and used him as a tool, yet cunningly building a case against me that only an Oriental mind could detail in its minuteness. Bob was their Nemesis ; he had by bribing a guard en- tered my room, and, by more chance than forethought, secured specimens of blood. He told me afterwards that he took the blood, thinking it was royal blood and having a connoiseur's fancy to examine royal blood. There by chance he had saved me. Of course, there was no thought of longer holding me. Xo one had noticed a Coolie furitively leave the courtroom just after the confes- sion. Bob and I, with the Consul, left together; but I left Bob soon, and with the Consul made my way to Au Sen's house. Xothing but silence greeted us. Cautiously we mounted the stairs, fearing a trap, and there at the top we found the entire family. That was the moment Japan became a mockery to me, boys. Xo longer the flowery Kingdom, for there is a huddled group lay my Au Sen and her entire family, all dead — butchered I called it — with precise little incisions directlv across the carotids. From one of the servants we heard the tale. A messenger had brought the news of the confessions to Au Sen's father, and he took the only course whereby he could leave the world in honor, according to Japanese customs. In Japan, boys, you know, suicide is thought to be honor- able, and the one doing it first kills his immediate family in order that no one of his branch may be alive as a memento of the family. So ended my dream of heaven. Like Sampson, I had gone among the Philistines, following the Iuiu of the light in a woman's eyes, and I suppose my friends think I am lucky to be here. I don't remember what happened after that, only I awoke about dusk in
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LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
the consul's home. With a start I remembered that I was to have met Bob at the college that evening. I started on a run for there, but bumped into someone coming toward the house. Recognition was mutual. The man was the consul. We were directly under a light, and, hardened as I was, I was scared by the look in the consul's face. It was ghastly, and the nearest I can describe it was that it looked just like the face of a little brother of mine looked one day after he had eaten a good-sized piece of Star tobacco on a dare from me. When the consul tried to talk he gurgled, and I lost my head enough to shake him. 'Bob,' he gasped — 'gone — kidnapped !' Did any of you ever have ether splashed on your bare abdomen ? Well, you know how it will revive one — that is the nearest I can describe how the news of Bob's disappearance acted on me, Before I had been dazed by all my trouble, but now' I felt my old self coming back, and I'm afraid I dropped the consul rather soundly. As fast as four coolies could trot me I raced for Bob's quarters. His valet was quite inarticulate, but I finally un- derstood from his incoherent talk that just at dusk, without warning, four men had come up unseen and they bound Bob in a twinkling. By chance I glanced toward the end of the big veranda and noticed something glittering in the lamp- light. Mechanically I picked it up. It was a peculiar coin like a piece of metal which I judged to be lead, one side covered with Japanese characters, the other by a figure very like a Maltese cross. With the hope of a drowning man clinging to a straw I put the coin in my pocket. Frantically all night the consul and 1 tried to plan the whole thing. We only agreed that it was likely the work of a tong — likely the one Au Sen's father had belonged to — and there we stopped, for neither had an)' idea which that was. I've often wondered, boys, why 1 didn't think of the coin I had found, but remember the shocks I had gone through, and I think you'll agree it was a wonder I didn't completely lose my mind. Days rolled by, and we were no nearer the solution than before. One day a cablegram came addressed to Bob, and we opened it, the consul and I. It was from 'Little Rebel.' With a start I realized two years had passed, and the lime had come when Bob was to be in 'Frisco to get his bride. On the consul's advice I wired 'Little Rebel' to come, telling her Bob was sick. There again I've often wondered why I did that, for one would think I would have hesitated to bring a girl into a country where even men were not safe. But it was a higher power, boys, that directed that message. 'Little Rebel' came, and with her only her aunt as chaperon and one maid. It seems her father couldn't leave and her mother's health wouldn't stand the voyage. Well did any of you ever try to break bad news to a woman? Well, for my part I'd rather lead the charge of
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LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
Tennyson's Light Brigade than to face again the look in those eyes of 'Little Rebel," as I told her the truth about Bob. She didn't faint, she didn't even cry, dare-deviltry would make Joan of Arc salute in reverence. She cut off all her but something died, boys ; I guess it was her youth ; I could see it leaving her eyes, and a woman full blown took the place of the light-hearted girl I had known — yes, a woman. Please God that they might be all like her. Feverishly we went over all the developments. 'Little Rebel' reached a decision that for beautiful hair, dressed in men's clothes and announced her decision of joining every tong in Japan if necessary to find some trace of Bob. Ah, boys, you hear the cynical say that love is a relic of a forgotten age, that the woman of today is a pampered toy that knows only the desire for man that he may provide for her that which her fancy may want. I'll admit I had idly wondered at times if this might be true, but, boys, when I saw this girl daring an inferno in comparison with which Dante's Inferno shrinks into insignificance. I mentally placed all women on a pedestal a little lower than the angels, and I silently made the first real prayer of my life that Bob — good old loyal Bob — might be found, to come back and claim this 'little bit of heaven' God had moulded into the form of a woman known to us as 'Little Rebel.' Well, she did join tong after tong, es- caping detection by her wits, no one ever suspecting, as far as we could tell, that she was a girl. But she didn't find any news of Bob. One day I had wandered down to the market and was idly watching the haggling over rice and vegetables, when one buyer, in reaching under his clothes for money, disclosed his bare arm- pit. Again it was chance, for I saw there the Maltese cross, a counterpart of the one on the coin I had found the night Bob disappeared, and I knew the officers of the tongs had the insignia of their tongs tattooed under their armpits. Cau- tiously I shadowed my man, and found where his tong's headquarters were. Within two days 'Little Rebel' had joined that tong. Then followed weary weeks of waiting. Finally 'Little Rebel' heard of an American prisoner held *n the 'den' of the tong, and. as we rightly surmised, it was Bob. But now it was hardly likely we could ever reach him. Every tong man was a gun man as mer- ciless as Satan himself. Gradually we evolved a scheme. I was to feint at being an opium habitue, and through free use of gold work my way through the dif- ferent degrees until I had reached that holy of holies, the room where the tong men smoked, the room where Bob was kept in a stupor. By degrees I worked into their good graces, until finally I was allowed to smoke and dream off the effects, as they supposed, in the room where Bob was. At last I found him, at last I found the wreck of what was once Bob. What a revenge the tong was
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LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
i
taking! It was the tong of which Au Sen's father had been the head, and, the tong laying the death of Au Sen's father on Bob, had captured him and taken him to their den. There for weeks they had injected him with opium, until the habit had taken hold of him and he had begged for it. Then they tortured him by just giving him a taste, then refusing him more. They didn't allow me any privileges, understand ; they loved my gold and thought I was harmless. Talk about hell, boys, I passed through about 360 degrees. They tried me in every way before they finally decided I was harmless. After letting me smoke, they would gash the soles of my feet with their sharp little sash knives, or scorch them with hot wires. Several times I almost failed, several times I felt I couldn't stand it longer, but I stuck to it, and finally gained the inner chamber. "Little Rebel' heard of the day when all except two would be gone from the temple. For that day we planned to try our scheme. Even 'Little Rebel' had not been allowed in the room with Bob ; my gold had won what membership couldn't, and as I look back again I see the finger of a higher power, for, hardened as I was to the sight of opium fiends, I could hardly stand to hear Bob's raving when he was denied the 'pills.' No one of the tong members knew that I was practically anesthesized with cocaine, and so counteracted the opium when I smoked it. At last the day came when we were to try the plan. 'Little Rebel' was to have a closed carriage at the door, and I decided to do the rest. I didn't tell her, but I decided to leave only dead guards behind me, for I knew enough about Japanese tongs to know we would never leave Japan alive if we left any tale-bearers. I saw the carriage before the door, and stealthily as a cat I stalked my guards. My only weapen, in my hand at least, was a knife, and I buried it to the hilt in the back of the neck of the nearest guard. He died without a groan, but he slipped out of my hand, and the noise of his fall aroused the other guard to his danger. If I live to be a hundred years old, I'll never forget the expression on the second guard's face as his eyes took in the situation. Like lightning his hands flew up and his knife stuck tight in the wall, missing my neck by a hair's breadth, taking off a piece of the lobe of my left ear. You can see the notch ihere now. Boys, you've heard of people seeing red. Well, I saw red. I forgot about the knife in my hand, forgot even that I was a man. All I saw was that face, distorted, ghastly, maniacal, and I wanted to get my bare hands on that bull-like neck. And I did, and I paid all my debts to Japan in the joy it gave me to twist his neck. He didn't last long. I believe I was superhuman for those few minutes. I picked Bob up like a baby and bore him to the carriage. As quickly as we could we reached the consulate. There for the first time 'Little
107
LITTLE REBEL'S EYES-Continued.
Rebel' got her first good look at Bob. It was heartrending, for only a shadow of the Bob she had known lay there. For months we fought, 'Little Rebel' and I, first for Bob's life, then for his reason. Then began the fight to cure his habit. Up to this time Bob had not recognized any of us. and I was the first he recog- nized. But I couldn't do anything against the habit. I tried everything I had learned to counteract the craving, but it was fighting the whirlwind ; then as a last resort we tried an experiment. 'Little Rebel' dressed just as she was the night Bob left her, and he recognized her ! Boys, youjve heard of all sorts of looks from a woman's eyes, but only a few fortunate ones have seen the light like the one that shone from 'Little Rebel's eyes when she saw Bob recognized her. 'Twas holy, boys ; it was the glimmer of the radiance of the spot where earth and heaven meet, the 'mother light,' boys. Once before I had seen it in the eyes of a young mother as we laid her first-born in her arms after we had fought with her down in the valley of the shadow, and Bob caught the radiance, boys, and from that time on we fought steadily with him back to his old self, and he and his wife left for U. S. A., while I went to Cuba."
The voice of Doctor trailed away into silence, and I think every mother's
son of us saw a little more clearly the beauty of womanhood, the homage we owe our mothers and the mothers that are to be. C. C. Xohe, '17.
108
(Thr #kuU.
Here, here is where the human soul indwells. The home of mankind and the place of thought.
Reason constructs her theme and mem'ry tells. Visions the subtle inner mind hath wrought.
This is the dome of that vast temple grand.
The house God builded in His image true. "Whose wisdom caused persistently to stand,
Safe-keeping portals, wrong could enter thru.
Concealed within this spacious vault are powers Of mind and soul, the chosen dwelling place
Of Love, that strength which character endowers The habitation of all mental grace.
Here, too, the Builder constantly abides
Who planned and wrought, constructed and designed The Palace beautiful. Xo house besides
So worthy is to God to be assigned.
Thought's home, indeed, so goldly is the way
And reach of human thought this mould contains.
High heaven descends to meet its upward way And men celestial glories here attain.
110
THE SKULL-Continued.
Five opening gates swing outward and within.
Thru which impressions find their way to thought. Thru them the harmonies of sphere rush in.
And man beholds the things that God has wrought.
Thought solves our mysteries and finds things out Thru evidences which the senses bring.
And man becomes a god and conquers death And turns him to his Father worshipping.
Let us despise not, then, this house of clay Divinely built, infused with living lights ;
But love it more while in its walls wre stay. Abiding here, full glory fills our sight.
Dr. J. DeM.
Ill
Slffe anb its delation to tlj£ Hortor.
. ... ,55*
OSS1BLY no one comes closer to or sees more of life in its many
phases than the Doctor. His early studies lead him into the simpler
forms of plant and animal life, so that he may the better understand
the more complex composition and metabolism of the highest form
of animal-man.
His studies, according to a certain school, tell him that hun- dreds of centuries ago there were no living things on this earth, but as the ages went by, certain atoms and molecules were thrown together which produced life — true, they tell us that this life was of the simplest kind, but that, in the course of time, evolution continued, until finally these living substances assumed definite forms, later reproducing their kind, etc.
Those believing this early birth, if I might so term it, say that these theo- ries can in a measure be proven by showing that certain inanimate substances display much the same activity as to movement, reproduction, etc., as do the lowest forms of life as known today.
Taking the amoeba, a single-cell organism, as a type of living organism, they say that a globule of mercury, if broken up, that each piece is as complete as the original body just as the amoeba divides itself, each portion being com- plete as the parent body. Again, that a globule of chloroform will take up into its body a firiment of shellac, much as the amoeba takes its food. Many other examples such as these areadvanced to serve as a foundation to the theory of evolution.
As to the acceptance of these fanciful comparisons one might agree ; yet when the theory goes still further and says that with this evolution and the accompany theory of the survival of the fittest being continued down the cen- turies, and that eventually man was evolved, we hesitate — at least I certainly re- quire more proof before agreeing to such scientific notions.
My object, however, in this article is not to question whether Darwin and his followers are right or wrong, but simply to draw attention to the fact that this was one theory advanced as to the origin of life. Of course, there has always existed the other belief, that the origin of life, in whatever form, is divine, yet in our own day we read occasionally that some scientist working in his laboratory has been able to produce life by putting together the known com- ponent parts of a certain organism, but invariably upon further investigation his work of years falls to nothing, proving the impossibility of such endeavor.
Life, according to the definition in the dictionary, is a state of living or being alive ; naturally, this is not a very clear definition, and yet life is such a complex thing that it is hard to better explain it, and as has been above stated that despite the fact that investigators have learned the component parts in the lower animal, and know exactly how much of each is contained therein, they have never been able to form one living thing.
The study of the doctor, however, leads him to the knowledge that every- where about him life exists in the an, in the water, and in the earth. True it is that this life occupies multitudinous forms, and for the most part invisible to the naked eye, but, by the aid of the microscope, its presence is beyond question.
112
LIFE AND ITS RELATION TO THE DOCTOR-Continued.
Pasteur, one of the early investigators along these lines, showed that if wines were left exposed to the air that fermentation would result, and that this -was due to the presence of certain organisms, yeasts, which fell in from the air, and while his teachings were discredited by many great scientists of his day, saying that fermentation was due to auto-combustion or spontaneous reaction, he conclusively proved that this was not so by first destroying the yeasts by heat- ing and then preventing further inoculation by excluding air unless properly filtered.
Since his able work much has been found out about the kinds of organisms everywhere about us, and while many are pathogenic to man, fortunately the vast majority of them are not only non-injurious to man, but often of inesti- mable benefit.
To the further study of the pathogenic organisms the doctor, with the val- uable aid of the laboratory worker, has been able to connect certain diseases with specific organisms of which formerly the etiology was unknown until today, many of these diseases can be reproduced in animals almost at will.
In the medical journals one frequently sees the mention of the isolation of some new form of bacteria as the active causative agent of some disease, the clinical forms of which were well known, but whose etiology was uncertain or unknown, as was also its means of transmission. Probably one of the latest of these discoveries was of the causative agent in typhus fever, which, according to the latest text books, is of unknown etiology. To Dr. Harry Plotz, a young doc- tor working in the Rockefeller Institute, we are indebted for this discovery, also as to the probable agency through which this disease is transmitted, namely, the flea.
Another late discovery was that of Dr. Flexner and his co-workers in deter- mining the causative agent in Spinal Meningitis. This he discovered to be an or- ganism so small that it passed through the finest Berkfeld filter — and its mode of transmission, the stable fly.
So one might recount case after case of how these infinitesimal living- things are concerned in the work of the doctor in his effort to preserve the high- est form of animal life — man himself. Accordingly, with these facts at hand, he studies ways and means to destroy one form of life that another may live. He is in attendance when the little babe is born, and uses prqphalatic measures against possible infection, both for mother and for babe. He it is who is advisor in the proper care of the infant, and on through its childhood and adolescence, in mat- ters of health. As the youth grows into manhood the doctor is the friendly ad- visor when sickness attacks, and even on into old age he is ever ready with his services, so that his patient may live and enjoy health.
Thus we see that the Doctor is ever closely allied with life, consider it in whatever phase you will, and from the very nature of his calling is at all times ready and willing to sacrifice his own life, if in so doing others may live. Ex- amples of this are too numerous to mention ; it matters not whether rich or poor, young or old, if a human life is at stake the doctor is ever willing and eager to use his skill and knowledge that his patient may live. What greater love can man have for his friend than this, when he will lay down his life?
Ignatius P. A. Byrne. 113
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glijat ?Gast Hieljt.
One farewell toast let's drink together Before we say good-bye forever. Now, here's your health and luck, old man ; It's time to go, so shake my hand.
They start to go, but stay instead ; Just one more drink, somebody said. Let's toast each "prop" and sing a song And celebrate till break of dawn.
When morning comes they start astray To pack their grips and get away; But at the station meet again To have a drink before the train.
Good-bye, old man, drop me a line. They board their trains just feeling fine. But when they're gone away, I dread, They'll all complain of swimming heads.
So farewell, Seniors ; take it slow, And do not drink too much, say no. But take one glass, and toast your class, And let's be sober till the last.
G. O'Neil.
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115
Calen&ar.
Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc
Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc Oc
I, 1915 — Grand opening day. Nobody here.
2 — Freshmen arrive. . 3 (Sunday) — Everyone sleeping; big night last night. . 4 — Lectures began. . 5 — Alkali Ike arrived in town. . 6 — Juniors revive old war songs.
. 7 — Dignified would-be doctors (Seniors) strut about the halls. . 8 — New Englanders have the blues ; Alexander toys with the Red Sox. . 9 — Everybody present for the first Saturday Clinic. . 10 (Sunday) — Everybody goes to church. (?) . 11 — First Clinic Board Meeting. . 12 — Electioneering began. Frat. activities began. . 13 — Unlucky day — nothing doing. . 14 — Montgomery christened Barber Surgeon. . 15 — Post elected President of Senior Class. . 16 — Phi Chi Smoker. . 17 (Sunday) — Freshmen from West Virginia gaze at skyscrapers in
city. . 18 — Junior Class Election. No fights. . 19 — Nelson elected President of Freshmen Class. . 20 — Operating Surgery began. . 21 — First Autopsy.
. 22 — All Seniors present at Obstetric Conference. . 23— Y. M. C. A. night.
. 24 (Sunday) — Montgomery and La Rue went to church. . 25 — Dr. McGlone gives Freshmen an Irish blessing. . 2(5 — Filled vacancies on Clinic Board. . 27 — Weber changes his brand of tobacco to Green Goose. . 28 — Hertzog's tie is Hirschbrun's disease. . 29 — Fish served in all boarding-houses. . 30 — Hallowe'en parties held. . 31 (Sunday) — Recuperating from last night's parties.
U7
CALENDAR-Continued.
Nov. i — Juniors lose their mainkin babies and Foley comes to the Rescue.
Nov. 2 — Beck invents new temperature chart.
Nov. 3 — Miss Mitchell surrounded by her blonde admirers.
Nov. 4 — Phi Beta Pi smoker.
Nov. 5 — Elder tries to raise a mustache.
Nov. 6 — Races at Prince George track.
Nov. 7 (Sunday) — Rain.
Nov. 8 — Clinic Board and Terra Marise Board meet. Decided to com- bine books.
Nov. 9 — Election day, and Juniors do not declare holiday.
Nov. io — Moving pictures in operating surgery. Everyone sleeps.
Nov. ii — Academic Day. Some Parade.
Nov. 12 — Chi Zeta Chi have smoker.
Nov. 13 — Nohe does not agree with class and leaves the meeting.
Nov. 14 ( Sunday) — All quiet.
Nov. 15 — Students pay their dues.
Nov. 16 — Nurse expelled from Hospital. Who's to blame?
Nov. 17 — Eleder, Gallagher and Krause work at Shed D.
Nov. 18 — Pasteur Department passes out.
Nov. 19 — McClintock bought a smoke-a-roll pipe.
Nov. 20 — Eleder goes to Cumberland.
Nov. 21 (Sunday) — Students see Chicken Parade.
Nov. 22 — Dr. Lozenby meets class.
Nov. 23 — Beck goes to Gayety.
Nov. 24 — Everybody leaves.
Nov. 25 — Thanksgiving Holiday.
Nov. 26 — Holiday.
Nov. 27 — Holiday.
Nov. 28 (Sunday) — Holiday.
Nov. 29 — Lumpkin still celebrating.
Nov. 30 — Freshmen escorted to back of operating amphitheatre.
Dec. 1 — Lasher washed his feet and Vieweg his socks. Regular house- cleaning day.
Dec. 2 — Dr. Ruhrah gives Juniors a Scotch blessing.
Dec. 3— ("By golly, boys") Moyers dreams about being out with a girl.
118
CALENDAR-Continued.
Dec. 4 — Maddison located new costal angle between female mammary gland.
Dec. 5 (Sunday) — Snowed.
Dec. 6 — McClintock seeing a malarial parasite, draws a sunflower.
Dec. 7 — Clinic Board tells Terra Mariae to go to H 1.
Dec. 8 — Dr. Friedenwald bought a new Henry flivver.
Dec. 9 — Dr. Beck had to push his automobile up Saratoga street.
Dec. io — Freshmen ride Phi Chi goat.
Dec. II — Dr. Beck entertains Juniors.
Dec. 12 (Sunday) — Peace reigns.
Dec. 13 — Freshmen find their level.
Dec. 14 — L. H. Bloom, while giving an anaesthetic, went to sleep twice.
Dec. 15 — Clinic Board attached their John Hancock to contract.
Dec. 16 — Weber shaved.
Dec. 17 — Beck starts for Windgap.
Dec. 18 — Everyone leaves.
Dec. 19 to January 4 — Holiday.
Jan. 5 — Ketcherside takes charge of X-ray Department.
Jan. 6 — La Rue goes to Hospital with La Grippe.
Jan. 7 — Lynch goes to Hospital, sympathizing with roommate.
Jan. 8 — McClintock goes to New York.
Jan 9 (Sunday) — All asleep.
Jan. 10 — Sections settled.
Jan. 11 — Xohe still minority leader of class.
Jan. 12---Bohl finds Hookworm six to eight metres long. Some hookworm.
Jan. 13 — Dr. Simon relieved Juniors of their mail pouch.
Jan. 14 — Biddle ( Senior) apologizes for not giving up his seat to a freshman.
Jan. 15 — Senior Exam, in Surgery.
Jan. 16 — Rain, hail, sleet and snow.
Jan. 18 — Juniors selling tickets for Theatre Party.
Jan. 19 — Foxwell and Lupton drew up resolutions to study five nights each
week. Jan. 20 — Freshmen have big crap game in dissecting room. Jan. 21 — New surgical section has mind of its own. Jan. 22 — Elbow lifting and can-emptying association hold weekly meeting.
119
CALENDAR-Continued.
Jan. 24 — Beck still following the "stock."
Jan. 25 — Jimmy Cannon gets 10% off at Hess's.
Jan. 26---A new tall figure with black mustache seen ambulating thru the College Halls.
Jan. 27 — Juniors decorate Academy of Music.
Jan. 28 — Theatre Party.
Jan. 29 — "Hang Overs" prevail.
Jan. 30 (Sunday) — Celery King escorts two females to church.
Jan. 31 — Everyone going down in their jeans, tuition must be paid.
Feb. 1 — Kuetzner pays board bill.
Feb. 2 — "Ground Hog" day. Nohe sees his shadow.
Feb. 3 — Compton and McCarney asleep in Psychiatry Class.
Feb. 4 — Smith goes to Auto Show.
Feb. 5 — Lupton's new anaesthetic (adrenalin).
Feb. 6 (Sunday) — Nothing doing.
Feb. 7 — Compton buys pack of cigarettes.
Feb. 8— What did Dr. Ruhrah tell Hertzog.
Feb. 9 — Viewig tried to corner pickle market.
Feb. 10 — Baby Show.
Feb. 1 1 — Dr. Simon gives Exam, in Clinical Medicine. Nohe studies un- til 4 A. M.
Feb. 12 — Holiday. Lincoln's Birthday.
Feb. 13 (Sunday) — Rainy day.
Feb. 14 — Weber in court.
Feb. 15 — Post goes courting a young widow.
Feb. 16 — Meeting of Baltimore County Medical Association.
Feb. 17 — Freshmen get Fallopian tubes from office.
Feb. 18 — Hydrophobia prevails in College.
Feb. 19 — G. H. Bloom goes to Swarthmore to captivate Venus.
Feb. 21 — Who said Wheaton was the -light-headed man of the class?
Feb. 22 — Holiday. Washington's Birthday.
Feb. 23 — Dr. Rosenthal has an another new suit, as he lectures to the misses today.
Feb. 24 — Proposed to a Muse. Champlin rejected.
Feb. 25 — Peterson sees his own spermatic cord.
120
CALENDAR-Continued.
Feb. 26 — Billy Sunday arrives in town.
Feb. 27 (Sunday) — Wolfe sports a new Velour and his sparklers.
Feb. 28 — Chaput takes midnight run to Hospital.
Feb. 29 — Seniors are on the warpath.
March 1 — Beginning of week of diplomacy for Clinic Board.
March 2 — Many of the students attend the Charity Ball at the Fifth Regi- ment Armory. Some of the props were there also.
March 3 — Three Freshmen get nervy and "butt in" on Senior sectional clinics.
March 4 — Dr. Rytina gives an exhibition in stone-crushing.
March 5 — Sunday — North Avenue sees some of the students promenading with the fair sex.
March 6 — Aikman, Hyle, Biddle and Cameron sleep peacefully while Dr. Harrison lectures.
March 7 — Compton gives an anesthetic scuccessfully ! ! ! !
March 8 — Dr. Cotton shows a troupe of South Africans to the Seniors in his clinic on rickets.
March 10 — Dr. Downey is introduced to the Senior Class. He proceeds to show various tests on the internal ear.
March 1 1 — Byrne accepts temporary interneship at Louis Gundry's Sana- torium, at Relay, Md.
March 12 — Sunday again. A cloudy day, so most of the boys studied.
March 13 — Unlucky day, but Shirkey was lucky. He was not called out day or night on an obstetrical case.
March 14 — Dr. Gardner lectures. Look out for extra uterine pregnancy. Seniors !
March 15 — Post breaks out in eloquence in behalf of Dr. Cotton's clinics. Riot is subdued.
March 16 — Syrop and O'Neill cut to go to the Gayety.
March 17 — St. Patrick's Day. Some people even look green today. Flynn is happy.
March 18 — Everybody sober after St. Patrick's Day. Some men still wear- ing green ties, sox, etc.
March 19 — The Clinic Board pursues the Senior Class to pay up for their pictures — with success ! ! !
121
CALENDAR-Continued.
March March
March March
March
March March
March March
20 — Clinic Board succeeds in getting one Senior to pay his dues. 21 — Medical section still kicking about too much work. Never
mind, the worst is yet to come. 22 — Rigby and Weber operate on dogs. 23 — Dr. Focher shows pictures — another chance for the class
sleepers. 24 — Chaput enters the hospital and is now a sturdy assistant to Dr.
Gardner. 25 — The Willard-Moran fight! Who won all the money? 2<5 — Matthai returns from Chicago and receives condolence from his
fellow-students. 27 — Hege pays for his picture in the Clinic. 28 — Clinic closes for this season.
122
I
cClmtocTc7
W7-
College 3figl?t.
Iff
H*
&J^
ggflfANUARY THE TWENTY-NINTH the annual College play was given at the Academy of Music. This is the one night of the year that the Profs, and the students join hands in a social event. The Juniors were all loyal except Smith and Xohe. Smith had to at- attend an Auto Show and Xohe had to study. ( ? )
Much credit was due those who decorated for the occasion. The balcony was appropriately draped with the college colors, the boxes were bedecked with pennants of various colleges, and behold, as the curtain raised, there unfolded a magnificent P. and S. pennant about six inches square.
Everyone enjoyed the play, and we enjoyed the financial returns.
123
lExrelatar.
Emil Novak, A.B.. M.D., F.A.C.S.
[Sp \ NEITHER fulness of years nor abundance of wisdom do I feel KS% qualified to assume a very paternal attitude toward those who will ere long launch their frail barks on the uncertain seas of medical practice. It is perhaps true, however, that a word of encourage- ment will be more appreciated by these neophytes if it comes from one whose own skiff is still within hailing distance of the shore than when it is wirelessed back across the years by those whose ancient hulls have long since toppled over the horizon.
The message I would hark back to you is most emphatically one of encour- agement, hope and good cheer. I have no patience with the man who masts his own pessimism, like a wet blanket, over the warm enthusiasm of the youth who is so eager to enter upon his life work. In the decade or so which has elapsed since I entered upon my own novitiate in medicine I have seen enough of its charms and trials to be able to assure you that you have selected for your lite work the most fascinating and at the same time the most responsible of all pro- fessions. In spite of the constant cry of overcrowding, there is in medicine, as in all other walks of life, urgent need of the right kind of men, especially young men. As our great American poet-physician said, "New ideas build their nests in young men's brains" and "The first whisperings of truth are not caught by those who begin to feel the need of an ear-trumpet."
In medicine, as in other fields of activity, this is pre-eminently the era of young men. While I am not one of the many who took seriously Sir William Osier's little jest concerning chloroform euthanasia for men beyond sixty, I am convinced that most of us have carved out at least the outlines of our ultimate destinies long before the sun begins to shine upon our backs. The keenest and most productive minds of our profession are those of its young men. Only recently the germ of typhus fever, which for many years had eluded the search of bacteriologists, was "captured" by a youth of twenty-six, a recent graduate in medicine.
The career which you have chosen, aside from its innate fascination, is pregnant with opportunities for helping your fellow-creatures. Strange though it may seem, you may attain the goal of the fullest success in medicine, whether
124
EXCELSIOR-Continuecl.
or not you become rich in worldly goods. The worship of Mammon does not blend well with the worship of Minerva. To become successful in the true sense you must be propelled by the two-in-one driving force of love of your work and love of your fellow-man.
It wrould be interesting if, from some hypothetical vantage point, one could synchronously follow the careers of all the members of any given graduating class as they radiate out in various directions. What surprises one would receive in following each tortuous life line to its earthly end ! What a composite drama of success and failure, of happiness and despair, would thus be unfolded to one's gaze.
Aside from congenital differences in the natural abilities of men — and such differences undeniably exist — the formula of success consists of hard work, per- severance, and ambition. And of these perhaps the greatest is work — it is, as Osier says, the master word in medicine. "Though a little one, the master-word looms large in meaning. It is the open sesame to every portal, the great equalizer in the world, the true philosopher's stone, which transmutes all the base metal of humanity into gold. The stupid man among you it will make bright, the bright man brilliant, the brilliant student steady. With the magic word in your heart all things are possible, and without it all study is vanity and vexation. The mir- acles of life are with it ; the blind see by touch, the deaf hear with eyes, the dumb speak with fingers. To the youth it brings hope ; to the middle-aged, confidence ; to the aged, repose."
Look back over the history of our own profession. From the countless array of advances and discoveries which are distributed throughout the centuries, how many can you pick which were not made possible by work, often by work alone? Do you think that Harvey's discovery of the circulation was a happy idea that dawned upon the pupil of Fabricious over night Not so, for it was only after the most prolonged investigations upon both warm- and cold-blooded animals that he finally arrived at the truth. Not only work, but also a "bulldog tenac- ity" characterized Harvey's investigation, for he was compelled to maintain the truth of his observations in the face of the ridicule of the entire profession of his time, many of whom considered him actually demented for holding such rev- olutionary ideas. Read the history of vaccination, of antisepsis, of anaesthesia, of anv of the monuments which master-minds have erected for themselves in the field of medicine, and the cornerstone of each monument is work. Oc- casionally, it is true, discoveries of real importance have been made through pure accident, but in the great majority of cases such accidents have occurred during somebody's work. Sometimes, again, great truths have been arrived at by the sudden sally of some brilliant intellect, guided by the bounteous hand of Providence, but far more frequently discoveries in medicine are the results of slow and painstaking labor, frequently on the part of many men in many lands.
Do not get the impression that scientific research is possible only in the elaborately equipped laboratory or in the metropolitan hospital. The backwoods
125
EXCELSIOR-Continued.
physician who teaches himself to observe closely, to analyze clearly, and to de- duce logically may become just as generous a contributor to human knowledge and human welfare as the most "scientific" worker connected with a high type medical school. Jenner was a country practitioner when he gave vaccination to the world ; so was Robert Koch, who later discovered the tubercule bacillus ; so, also, was Nicholas Senn, who later became America's greatest surgeon ; and these examples might be multiplied "ad infinitum."
As for ambition, this must not be confused with the mere indulgence in day dreams. The Roman eulogist emphasized that "Ambition should be made of sterner stuff." It has always seemed to me that there are two principal types of ambition — a true and a false, or, if you choose, a working ambition and a dreaming ambition. The latter type often deludes its poor victim, and not in- frequently his friends, into the most unwaranted expectations of future glory.
I remember reading somewhere, away back in the days of my childhood, a fable of the Arabian street merchant, who, discontent with his lot in life, spent much time in longing for riches and affluence. One day, instead of busying himself in selling his wares, he fell asleep in the marketplace, with his basket by his side, and dreamed that he was a rich man, with slaves groveling in the dust at his feet. Remembering his former fancied wrongs, he proceeded to kick the slaves away, and with such unfortunate realism that he overturned the bas- ket at his feet, demolishing all his costly wares. His day dream was an expen- sive one, as day dreams frequently are. Not that there is anything innately wrong in allowing the fancy to roam into the future, in the pleasing diversion of building castles in the air. The danger is of a negative rather than a posi- tive type. In itself the sport is a harmless one in which we all to some extent indulge, especially in the halcyon days of youth. It is to youth what blowing soap bubbles is to childhood. With most of us the beautiful airy castles which we build for ourselves remain ever unreal — they never pass beyond the nebu- lar stage of their existence. Under the magic formative influence of the right sort of ambition, however, these ethereal castles can be made to take on the shape and substance of actual reality.
The second type of ambition I have spoken of as the true, the working type. The higher one sets his aim in life, the greater the effort required to reach it. The lazy man is content to view it at a distance, but the truly ambitious one does not spend his time in sighing like a bellows for the object of his heart's desire. He takes up his burden with determination, and carries it with persistence over obstacle after obstacle, until he has reached the top of the mountain of success. Some who reach the top do so only after a slow and laborious climb, made suc- cessful only by the exercise of that perseverance which will counterbalance a multitude of shortcomings. Others, again, with native ability of a high order, push forward at a brisk rate and soon have planted their banner at the top.
Look about you at the men who have made a success of life — in medicine, business, literature, or what not. The tendency of the world is to speak of every successful man — using the word successful in its nobler sense — as a genius.
126
EXCELSIOR-Continued.
Many a man is thus misbranded. Genius has been defined, and correctly, I be- lieve, as an infinite capacity for taking pains ; or, in other words, an infinite capacity for hard work. The man who is wrongfully accused of being a genius is most frequently one who has made the fullest use of his original capital in life — who has invested it to the best advantage, and who is now a rich man, as far as personal resources go. By calling such a man a genius society compla- cently offers a sop to the shortcomings of most of its members, many of whom have squandered an original capital perhaps much greater than that of the so- called "genius."
Your future life will be, or at any rate should be, a never-ending quest for truth. There is an old Egyptian legend to the effect that the goddess of truth, Osiris, was assassinated by a band of conspirators and her body divided into a thousand pieces, which were scattered to the winds. Ever since that time man- kind has been searching for the missing fragments of truth. Some of you, more successful than others, may come upon many of the precious bits, though your search will be a laborious one and may lead you far afield from the customary brain paths of your fellow-man. It may even be, and let us hope so, that in your ranks some future Koch or Lister is even now impatiently tugging away at the bit.
Do not be content to be commonplace, but "hitch your wagon to a star," and strive for the really big things of life — happiness lies that way. Let your motto be "Excelsior!"
127
Behold this Ruin ! 'Twas a skull Once of ethereal spirit full. This narrow cell was Life's Retreat. This space was Thoughts' mysterious seat. What beauteous visions filled this spot, What dreams of pleasure long forgot! Xor hope, nor joy, nor love, nor fear, Has left one trace of record here.
Beneath this moldering canopy Once shone the bright and busy eye ; But start not at the dismal void. If social love that eye employed. If. with no lawless fire it gleamed. But thru the dews its kindness beamed. That eye shall be forever bright When stars and sun are sunk in night.
128
TO A SKELETON-Continued.
Within this hollow cavern hung
The ready, swift and tuneful tongue.
If Falsehood's honey it disclaimed,
And when it could not praise, was chained ;
If bold in Virtue's cause it spoke,
Yet gentle concord never broke,
This silent tongue shall plead for thee
When Time unveils Eternity.
Say, did these fingers delve the nine, Or with the envied rubies shine ? To hew the rock or wear a gem Can little now avail to them. But if the page of Truth they sought, Or comfort to the mourner brought, These hands a richer need shall claim Than all that wait on Wealth and Fame.
Avails it whether bare or shod These feet the paths of duty trod? If from the bowers of Ease they fled To seek Affliction's humble shed. If grandeur guilty bribe they spurned And home to Virtue's cot returned, These feet, with angels' wings, shall vie And tread the palace of the sky !
(GO
129
^V.VrV.Yt.f.V.Vi.VM^
Another Bay.
Shadows of night fade as dawn draws nigh,
The Eastern sun spells the birth of day, Earth wakens from her nap, to shed her dewy wrap,
And spreads contentment every way. ,
Mother Sun pours forth her searching rays
To seek each nook and every space Where darkness breeds sorrow, and fear of the morrow
Dims the features more than one face.
Then Nature, in all beauty, does plead
That her charms may awaken the soul. To dispense with dull care in "Melancholy's" lair.
And seek lost joys which "Sacrifice" stole.
Nature in sweet harmony convenes ;
Her flow'rs saturate the atmosphere With fragrancy of love as in Heaven above,
And breezes carry the blessings here.
G. O'NEIL.
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130
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I - - GRINDS - - J
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'The fop begins to bluster.
The fool begins to whine, The man of sense when taken in. Goes off and gives no sign.
Grind Editor.
Class : "But search the realms of living men,
Where will you find their like again." — Scott.
Editors : "With more than mortal power endowed.
How high they soared above the cloud." — Scott.
Wi'bHr: "I must be to the barber; for methinks
I am marvelous hairy about the face." — Shakes f> care.
Movers: "No man is wiser for his learning. — Scldcn.
132
GRINDS-Continued.
Wheaton : "On with the dance !
Let joy be unconfined." — Byron.
Montgomery : "So many hours must I sport myself." — Shakespeare.
Eleder: "A little fat. oily, man of God." — Thompson. "For thy sake, tobacco, I would do anything but die." — Lamb.
Hertzog: "Go to the ant, thou sluggard,
Consider her wars, and be wise. — Proverbs.
Clark : "A proper man as one shall see on a summer's day. — Shakespeare.
KetchersidEr: "He above the rest in shape and gesture proudly eminent, ^tood like a tower." — Milton.
Maddisox : "Our todays and yesterdays
Are the blocks with which we build. — Longfellow.
Bohl : "He looked like a lion with a gloomy stare.
And on his eyebrows hung his matted hair." — Drvden.
McClintock : "All of which he understood by rote.
And as occasion served would quote." — Butler.
Smith: "He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad."— Jerrald.
G. H. Bloom : "Mind your speech a little,
Least it may mar your fortune." — Shakespeare.
Late Mr. Tierney : "Conspicuous by his absence." — Russell.
Nohe: "Wiser in his own conceit than seven men." — Proverbs.
133
GRINDS-Continued.
L. H. Bloom : "Let me have men about me that are fat. sleek-headed men, and such as sleep o' nights. Yon Cassius has a lean and hungry look. He thinks too much ; such men are dangerous." — Shakespeare.
Champlin : "Backward, turn backward. Oh time in thy flight, Make me a graduating M. D. tonight."
Dr. Rosenthal : "What is epidermis composed of ?"
Lupton : "Hypodermic, hyperdermis, hypodermics, and just plain dermis.''
Dr. Cotton : "Give the prognosis of Potts disease." Compton: "Prognosis can't be had if it clears up." Sternberg: "Good, as far as life is concerned."
OUGHT TO KNOW.
Dr. L. Rosenthal (reading history to Juniors) : "This patient is a musi- cian. Musicians, as you know, are prone to emphysema."
Dr. Rosenthal (to patient) : "What instrument did you say you played?" Patient : "Base-drums, Dr !"
HOT STUFF.
Byrne (reading P. and S. catalogue) : "Jingoes, but 'Daddy Keirle has a lot of degrees."
O'Neil : "What kind, Fahrenheit or Centigrade?"
Dr. LazEnby : "Smith, what signs do you have in the first six weeks oi
pregnancy ?"
Smith: "I don't have any."
Dr. LazEnby : "Oh! I have been misinformed."
134
GRINDS-Continued.
OUCH ! OUCH ! !
Observing the success of the Billy Sunday methods in the matter of con- versions. Puck rises to suggest that the attempt be made to apply the same meth- ods to other church ceremonies and activities, proposing the following formulas :
Pastor (christening infant) — "What do you want to call this hunk of excess baggage, Bo?"
Presiding Parson — "What miserable mutt giveth this skirt to be married to this gink?" The Bride's Father — "I'm the guy."
Industrious Usher: — "Slide, you ice-carts, slide!"
Passing the Plate — "Come across with the iron-men, you low-lived tight- wads !"
Sunday School Superintendent — "All of you little flivvers that want to swat Satan, stand on one leg." ,
QUIZ ON EYE.
Doc: "Give anatomy of eyelid."
Law : "Skin, fascia, orbicularis, oris, and tarsus."
Doc: "What is below tarsus?"
Law : "I presume the metatarsus." ,
SPECIALISTS IN SENIOR CLASS.
Chaput — Chief bluffer. Feedman — Questionest. Aikman — Somnambulist. McCamEY — Model Student. Shiekey — Innocence.
ElEder : "Tierney, where have you been ?" TiernEy: "I just dined." ElEdEr: "Enjoy it?"
Tierney: "I had some beefsteak. The stuff was so tough that I couldn't get a fork thru the gravy."
135
GRIXDS-Contimied.
Smith: "You are very forgetful: everything you hear seems to go in one ear and come out the other."
Eleder: "Yes and everything you hear goes in at both ears and comes out of vour mouth."
H. D. Wolfe t looking at an X-ray plate of the chest, showing the steels of the corsette) : "Dr. Dotton, are not these ribs somewhat abnormal?"
AN OPTIMIST.
Jake Kelley: "What is an optimist, Commiskey?"
Commiskey : "An optimist is a person who'll go into a restaurant with- out a cent in his pocket and figure on paying for the meal with the pearl he hopes to find in the oyster."
IRISH VS. IRISH.
Tiernev (in Dispensary, to an Irish Girl) : ''You were born in Ireland?"
Girl: "I was."
Tierxev: "What part?"
Girl : "Why all of me, I suppose."
SO TO SPEAK.
Lady: "Doctor, I am glad to hear you have stopped calling on poor Mrs. Smith. Xow I am sure she is out of danger."
Mrs. Browx : "Mrs. Smith. I understand your baby is sick. What seems to be the trouble?"
Mrs. Smith : "I don't know, the Doctor doesn't know and the baby is too voting- to tell us."
COMPLIMEXTARY. "Prisoner, have you anything to say?"
"Only this, your honor: I'd be mighty sorry if the young lawyer you as- signed to me was ever called upon to defend an innocent man."
136
GRINDS-Continued.
. IN THE DARK AGES
When Rastus Johnson's son arrived
He looked just like his poppy. In fact, the doctor done declared
He was a carbon copy. When Mrs. Johnson saw the boy
And made a start to bathe him, She said, "No stork has brought this chil' ,"
It must have been a raven.
Dr. McClEarv : "What is the prognosis of Leucemia ?" McCarney: "Prognosis is fatal."
Dr. McClEary : "No prognosis never kills anybody, unless they were scared to death. The disease kills and the prognosis gets us into trouble."
137
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©Ijp iFrpsJjman'a Btlemma.
When first the Freshman's eager eyes Surveys with innocent surprise The volumes that before him rise
Of Grecian nomenclature, He wonders will he come to be Imbued with every-'ology And science that the "medici"
Indite of human nature.
He wonders will he master quite The contents of those covers bright That plague his hearing and his sight
With merciless exaction : Or, if like other men before He'll pale before the awful store Of scientific life and lore,
And chuck it with distraction.
But when the paroxym's passed The Freshman turns enthusiast And feels for certain he will last
And ultimately "have her ;" And that is why he digs and sings, Dissecting all the vital things, The heart, the liver, and the "lings"
Of Mister Bill Cadaver.
See Are Gee.
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138
Breams.
ARY DEFORD, although a mere child, because of her strange dreams was often nicknamed "Spooky." She possessed an alert brain and a remarkably lovable and generous attitude. Physically, one would not think her beautiful, but her face and personality were the kind to which everyone was attracted, and her honest, frank manner won her friends everywhere.
Mary's dream proved always to be prophetic. One night she alarmed the household by screaming fire ! Her Aunt Belle, who was taking care of her, ined to persuade Mary she was only dreaming and to go to sleep. However, knowing Mary's uncanny warnings heretofore, she decided to investigate the premises, only to find everything quiet. She had retired not more than an hour when she heard a "cracking" sound, as though wood were burning, and imme- diately looking out, she saw great flames coming from what seemed to be the entire town. The little brown house in which Mary, her father, Aunt Belle and elder brother Tom lived, appeared to be the only place where the flames had not reached. Mary's father sent in the alarm, and soon the flames were under control, but the newspaper office and large store lay a mass of debris. It was a cold, bleak night, and had it not been for Mary's strange warning the entire town of 3000 inhabitants might have been homeless.
Alary at twenty was quite as lovable and wonderful as when a child. At this age she dreamed about the future, which materialized perfectly. She saw herself in some foreign resort, surrounded by every luxury. As her companion she had her Aunt Belle, who was about twelve years older, and with whom she shared her comforts. Aunt Belle, although then just a girl, after the death of Mary's mother kept house for the family, but she secretly rebelled. She felt superior to her position, yet it was the only one she could fill. Mary and Aunt Belle had enjoyed life in this "Garden Spot" for several months, and now were planning in a short time to return to Xew York, when suddenly Mary was taken ill with fever.
140
DREAMS— Continued.
A well-known physician was recommended. Dr. Franc Rostea, who took charge of the case. He was a man of culture and force, with a heart so large that ever)- beggar on the street recognized it. His love for children and the patience and sympathy he displayed while attending them won the hearts of all mothers.
After weeks of illness, Mary was finally convalescing. She was sitting on the porch when Dr. Rostea was paying his last professional call, during which l.e lingered a while. For the first time Mary realized his worth and the utter loneliness she would feel when his visits ceased. She didn't allow herself lo think for a moment that he was at all attracted toward her, yet his kindness to her all these weeks had completely won her heart. Dr. Rastea, too, admired Mary from the first visit, and loved her more and more as he saw the beauty of her character unfold from day to day. The Doctor was not previously a believer in "Fate," but often tells Mary, now that they are engaged, he is convinced since he met her that life is not always what we make it.
Most of Mary's fortune was inherited from Judge Gorman, an old bachelor and friend of her father, and who cared little for children. His dogs and books were his chief companions, and he often told Mary that dogs were better and truer friends than most human beings. He had any number of them, and when they died he buried them in his dog cemetery with stone and planted rose leaves on the graves which were the curiosity of the neighborhood. „
Mary's father's estate was small. Tom and she receiving only enough to make them comfortable. Tom was selfish, disagreeable and brutal from child- hood, and as a man of the despicable type, was constantly boasting of his knowl- edge of the world, and of which he claimed he hadn't and did not want. His idea of a good fellow was an intoxicated man. He had spent almost all the money left him, and was in a desperate frame of mind when he thought of a plan by which he could retrieve his fortune.
After many farewells Mary and Aunt Belle left Dr. Rostea at the pier, bound for New York for a shopping expedition. Mary planned to be married two months later in her own church at home. Just as soon as Dr. Rostea could arrange his practice he was to follow them to New York, at which place they would meet him. Mary's usual spirits fell as the steamer was slowly plowing its way through the foaming billows, the pier dimly fading in the distance, and the mere form of Dr. Rostea, waving a last farewell, scarcely visible to her eager eyes. Depression possessed her until she reached the stateroom a few hours later and found many proofs of his thoughtfulness for her. The entire room was filled with the fragrance of flowers, which were everywhere.
Mary and Aunt Belle reached New York safely. Alary was herself again and forever effervescing, but Aunt Belle was secretly jealous of Mary's happi- ness, yet she always pretended to be interested and delighted. Several times Alary noticed a peculiar expression with a sarcastic remark, which somewhat opened her eyes, although she was too happy to give it much attention.
141
1
DREAMS-Continued.
Tom, hearing of his sister's arrival in New York and engagement to Dr. Rostea, thought this was his chance to play his game, so he immediately boarded a train for New York. On seeing him, Mary was surprised, and wondered why he put himself to so much trouble, as he had never shown her any attention in her life, but shortly afterward she learned his mission. He begged her to divide the Judge's fortune with him, which she refused to do. Tom, in a rage, left the room, and Mary dismissed the incident from her mind.
The next afternoon Mary was sitting at her desk writing to Dr. Rostea. Aunt Belle had just gone out, when suddenly a crash came from the window. Looking up, she saw Tom, with four men, entering her room from the fire- escape. Before she had time to ask for an explanation they had bound her mouth and hands. She heard Tom explain to the men, who looked to be intelli- gent, and whom she supposed to be young doctors, that she was insane and at times violent. She hadn't an idea where they were taking her, until, after be- ing placed in an automobile and riding for a while, she recognized the coun- try just outside of her home town. Finally the machine stopped, and for the first time she realized he was committing her to an asylum for the insane. Tom had a private interview with the physician in charge, which she could not hear. A nurse was afterward called and .she was shown into a well-furnished room, and, except for the iron bars over the doors and windows, one might suppose 'they were in an up-to-date apartment. As soon as the nurse left the room Tom turned to Mary and told her she was put there to remain until she came to terms. Meanwhile Aunt Belle had heard from Tom and of his plans to keep Mary in the institution ; also, the part she was to play. Tom knew of Aunt Belle's insincere nature, and felt sure of her delight and co-operation. ,
As soon as Dr. Rostea arrived in New York, Tom and Aunt Belle were there to meet him. They told him the story of Mary's insanity, and made threats that unless he married Aunt Belle, Mary's life would be in danger. The Doctor consented, in order to save Mary's life, but also with the understanding that he would not do so until they reached the continent. The papers the next day were filled with the account of the engagement and of the jilting of the niece for the Aunt. Tom felt sure he had about completed his scheme to force Mary into submission.
Mary read the story in the newspapers, but knew it to be more of Tom's villainy. She at once decided to fight harder for liberty, which proved to be not an easy task. She sent for her lawyer, and he finally succeeded in getting her a trial. The jury was selected from men of the working class, who could understand little the ways of the rich, and because, on cross-examination, it was brought out Mary paid $75 for a waist and $25 for a hat, and was educating an orphan, the jury brought in a verdict of insanity.
Miss Burke, the nurse attending Mary, overheard the superintendent of nurses remark that Miss Deford was the best-paying patient they had ever had in the institution. The nurse was all kindness to her patient, and not afraid to express her opinion as to her sanity, for which she was promptly dismissed.
142
DREAMS-Continued.
After her dismissal, she used every effort to get Mary released, telling the story of injustice to men of influence who were humane. They seemed to think such treatment impossible in this age, but promised to bring pressure to bear for Mary's freedom, which they did, so the "patient" was released.
Aunt Belle found Dr. Rostea's contempt unbearable, although she had only seen him once since the agreement. The Doctor, carrying out the understand- ing in the contract, was on his way to the Continent with Aunt Belle. After they had been at sea about three days, Aunt Belle was suffering from remorse, and deciding to release Dr. Rostea from his promise; without further delibera- tion she disappeared. Only two or three persons witnessed the tragedy ; but Dr. Rostea, being ill in his stateroom, was not told of the incident until they reached port.
Soon the Doctor decided to return to New York and search for Mary. On his arrival he registered at a hotel, and, to his great surprise, saw above his sig- nature the names of Mary Deford and Alice Burke, who were spending the night there while on a motor trip. Startled, but delighted, he at once sent a note to Mary, merely stating an old friend wished to see her. Happy to see any- one she had known, she rushed down stairs and into the Doctor's arms. Dr. Rostea was as much overjoyed as Mary, and neither could speak for a few min- utes. He then explained the tortune he had endured for her safety, and that now she was found, they would never part again. Without delay a clergyman from the "little church around the corner" performed the ceremony, Miss Burke being the only attendant.
"For Fate, in a strange humor, had decreed That what it wrote, none but Itself should read."
E. B. M.
Z^p*.
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143
(Chaste £farst£.
The Spot.
Chaste Nursie zvent a skating once
And tripped up in a trice. When asked just where she struck, she blushed.
And pointed to the ice!
The Peak of Prosperity.
Chaste Nursie fell and broke her leg. The thought of treatment shocked Iter.
She 'phoned for absent-treatment by A Christian Science doctor.
Silhouette.
Chaste Nursie on a windy day
Stayed home to cheat the men; Yet walked past sun in thin array.
Quite true to form again.'
The Coming Out Party.
Chaste Nursie was benumbed with fright,
While gaily tango-tripping, To hear her pardncr murmur low,
"My word! Your costume's RIPPING."
Preparedness.
The breeches on the warship's guns
Caused Nursie great distraction; 'Twos' naught to her confusion
ll'licn the ship ivas stripped for action.
Poor John.
Chaste Nursie fainted at the 'phone.
She heard the voice of John Say: "I'll come up and see you. dear.
If you have nothing on!"
Xo Scandal.
Chaste Nursie led me to the room —
No one yet had missed her; Then we undcrcssed and got in bed,
I'm her little sister.
144
T@M(g
F\
N
D
P^TOWg
FIFTY-FIFTY.
"Poor fellow!" said the surgeon, as, with the aid of his Irish litter bearer, he picked up a wounded Highlander. "Poor fellow ! One of his wounds is fatal, I believe."
"So it is," said Pat, "but the other wan ain't, so he has an aiven chanct."
"The secret of good health is to eat onions," says an eminent physician. But how can onion-eating be kept secret ?
Teacher : "Now, children, can you tell me what is the national flower of England ?"
Class : "Roses." '
Teacher : "And France ?"
Class : "Lilies."
Teacher: "And Spain?"
(Silence for a minute — then small voice at back of the school-room.)
"Bullrushes, ma'am."
145
TONICS AND SEDATIVES-Continued,
THE DOCTOR'S BILL.
Doctor: "Here is your receipted bill. Thank you. Now I guess I'll takr your temperature."
Patient : "Go as far as you like, Doc. That's about all I have left."
"What's the matter, little boy?"
"M-maw's gone an' drowned all the kittens."
"Dear, dear! Now that's too bad."
"Yep, an' she p-promised — boo-hoo — that I cud do it"
Bartender: "What'll y' have?"
Frenchman : "I vill take a drop of contradiction."
Bartender : "What's that ?"
Frenchman : "Veil, you put in de visky to make it strong, de vater to make it veak, de lemon to make it sour, and de sugar to make it sveet. Den you say to your friend, 'Here's to you !' and you take it yourself."
"This poem was written by a prominent doctor of this city. Has it any value ?"
"About as much value," said the editor, "as a medical opinion written by a poet."
A LONG TALK.
Dr. Wiley tells the following story : Sleepily, after a night off, a certain intern hastened to his hospital ward. The first patient was a stout old Irishman.
"How goes it?" he inquired.
"Faith, it'sh me breathin', doctor. I can't get me breath at all, at all."
"Why, your pulse is normal. Let me examine your lung-action," replied the doctor, kneeling beside the cot, and laying his head on the ample chest.
"Now, let's hear you talk," he continued, closing his eyes and listening.
"What'll Oi be sayin', doctor?"
"Oh, say anything. Count one, two three, and up," murmurer the intern, drowsily.
"Wan, two, three, four, five, six," began the patient. When the young doc- tor, with a start, opened his eyes, he was counting huskily, "Tin hundred an' sixty-nine, tin hundred an' sivinity, tin hundred an' sivinty-wan."
A country editor visiting a delinquest subscriber who lay dying, asked him about his hopes for the future.
"It looks bright," said the dying man.
"Yes ; you will soon see the flames," replied the editor.
Father and son went for a stroll one day. As they passed a vender of ice-cream, the boy turned to his father and said, longingly :
"I vish you'd buy me some ice-cream, fader ; I do feel warm."
His father gazed at him for a few seconds in mild surprise and then ex- claimed :
"No, no, Ikey, my poy ; but I'll tell you vot I'll do. I'll tell you some ghost stories vot'll make your blood run cold."
146
TONICS AND SEDATIVES-Continued.
RAPID WORK.
"My, but you men build rapidly," said an old lady to a contractor.
"Six weeks ago you began digging tbe foundation of this house, and now you are putting in the lights."
"Yes, ma'am," replied the contractor, "and next week the livers will be in."
The little girl timidly asked the drug clerk for a package of pink dye. "What do you want it for?" responded the clerk, "woolen or cotton goods?"
"Neither," said the child. "It's for ma's stomach. The doctor said she'd have to dye it (diet), and she wants it a pretty color."
VERY DIFFERENT.
"They say people with opposite characteristics make the happiest mar- riages."
"Yes, that's why I'm looking for a girl with money.
POLITENESS RETURNED.
A few days after a farmer had sold a pig to a neighbor, he chanced to pass his place and saw his little boy sitting on the edge of the pig pen, watching its new occupant.
"How d'ye do, Johnny," said he, "how's your pig today?" "Oh, pretty well, thank you," replied the boy, "how's all your folks ?" Dayton : "I know the tango and turkey trot, but what's the St. Vitus ?" Doyle : "It's the one you do with a trained nurse." — Judge. "1 heard today that your son was an undertaker. I thought you told me he was a physician." ,
"Not at all, you misunderstood me, I'm sure. I said he followed the medi- cal profession."
VACCINATION.
"I don't think much of this 'ere vaccination, Mrs. Green. What's vaccina- tion done for my little Tommy ? Since I 'ad it done, he's 'ad whooping-cough, chicken-pox, measles ; in fact, everything but small-pox."
A STINGER STUNG.
An Irishman recently went before a Judge to be naturalized.
"Have you read the Declaration of Independence?" the court asked.
"Oi hov not yer honor," said Pat.
"Have you read the Constitution of the United States ?"
"Oi hov not, yer honor."
The Judge looked sternly at the applicant and asked, "What have you read ?
Patrick hesitated but a fraction of a second before replying: "Oi hov RED hairs on me neck, yer honor."
147
TONICS AND SEDATIVES-Continued.
A POSSIBLE SUBSTITUTE. "What have you in the shape of cucumbers this morning?" asked the cus- tomer of the new Grocery Clerk.
"Nothing but bananas ma'am," was the reply.
A FITTING SENTENCE.
Judge — What is your name?
"Pete Smith," responded the vagrant.
"What occupation?" continued the court.
"Oh, nothing much at present. Just circulating around."
"Retired from circulation for thirty days," pronounced the court dryly.
Beggar — "Sir, I am starving."
Croesus — "Here, take this penny, and tell me how you became so mis- erably poor."
Beggar — "Ah, sir, I was like you. I was too fond of giving large sums of money to the poor."
TOO PARTICULAR.
Turning to the newspaper reporter who was his passenger, the aviator ex- claimed :
"It's all off; the propeller is broken, and we are doomed to fall six thou- sand feet !"
"Great guns !" cried the reporter. "I hope we don't fall into the water. I can't swim a stroke !"
A man called on a physician for advice. The physician diagnosed the .case as one of nerves and prescribed accordingly. The fee was $5 and the pre- scription $2. The man had only $5. He said to the physician:
"Doc, $5 is all I have. Lend me $2 and I'll have the prescription filled."
The physician gazed at the man for a moment, then said : "I have made a mistake in my diagnosis. Your nerve is all right. You are afflicted with an enlarged gall. There is no remedy for that."
Gallant Passenger : "Won't you take my seat, madam ?"
Embarrassed Beneficiary: "Oh, I thank you so much! I'll take the seat with pleasure, but I don't want you to stand up."
"It would please me mightily, Miss Stout," said Mr. Mugley, "to have you go to the theater with me this evening."
"Have you secured the seats? "asked Miss Van Stout.
"Oh ! come now," he protested ; "you're not so heavy as all that !"
TEMPERATURE.
A scotch doctor who was attending a laird had instructed the butler of the house in the art of taking and recording his master's temperature, with a ther- mometer. On repairing to the house one morning he was met by the butler, to whom he said : "Well, John, I hope the laird's temperature is not any higher today."
148
TONICS AND SEDATIVES-Continued.
STRANGE ANATOMY.
It is wrong to write jokes about the French soldiers' pants,'' said a sympa- thetic young lady. "They are red and flamboyant, but they cover as brave and tender hearts as ever beat."
"What diagnosis did the doctor make of your wife's illness?"
"Said she is suffering from overwork."
"Is that so?"
"Yes ; he looked at her tongue and reached that decision immediately."
"I can't imagine what's the matter with me, doctor. I'm continually think- ing about myself !"
"Tut, tut ! You must stop worrying over trifles !"
She was a careless girl to put the subscriber on the wrong number. Being in a hurry, the subscriber promptly asked for a box for two.
"But we don't have boxes for two," sai'd a startled voice at the other end of the line.
"Why, isn't that the theatre ?" he inquired.
"No," was the reply, "this is 's, the undertaker."
Mrs. Malaprop : "Young Sharp will have to apologize before I speak to him again."
Miss Interest: "Did he insult you?"
Mrs. Malaprop : "Did he ? The last time I met him I told him that my uncle had locomotor ataxia, and he asked me if he 'whistled at crossings.' "
Bud was explaining to his mother about a mishap at a party, in which he was the victim, and he said : "Gee, I felt rotton."
"That is not nice language, Bud," expostulated the mother. "Well, I was mortified, wasn't I?"
"When 'I was a boy," said the gray-haired physician, who happened to be in a reminiscent mood, "I wanted to be a soldier, but my parents persuaded me to study medicine." ,
"Oh, well," rejoined the sympathetic druggist, "such is life. Many a man with wholesale aspirations has 'to content himself with a retail business."
During the flight a Highlander had the misfortune to get his head blown off. A comrade 'communicated the sad news to another gallant Scot, who askec, anxiously: "Where's his head? He was smoking ma pipe."
An Irishman meeting an acquaintance and noticing his badly discolored eye, asked who gave it to him?, "Nobody gave it to me," said Pat, "I had to fight like the divil for it."
149
TONICS AND SEDATIVES-Continued.
THE STUDENT.
"You look awfully tired, young man," said the benevolent-looking woman
to the young man with the books under his arm.
"Yes, ma'am," replied the student, "I'm studying for a doctor."
"It's a shame! Why don't you let the doctor study for himself?"
The man looked puzzled for a moment, and then replied : "Well, I was
just wondering that mysel'. Ye see he died at twa o'clock."
MUSIC AND ANATOMY.
A child had been to Sunday School to hear a missionary lecture. When she returned her father asked her if the lecturer had told her about the poor heathen. "Oh, yes," she replied, "he told us that they were often hungry, and when they beat on their tum-tums it could be heard for miles."
A man who had been troubled with bronchitis for a long time called on a rather noted doctor. After a few questions the doctor told him he had a very common ailment that would readily yield to treatment.
"You're so sure you can cure my bronchitis," said the man, "you must have had great experience with it."
"Why, my dear sir," confided the doctor, "I've had it myself for over twenty years."
AT THE COUNTY HOSPITAL.
The New Nurse: "Have you seen Ethel Barrymore in 'A Countiy Mouse ?' "
Veteran Nurse : "Yes, but she isn't so good as Ethyl Chloride in Local Anesthesia."
New Nurse: "Oh, is she good? I must see her."
Dr. Ende : "There's nothing serious the matter with Patsy, Mrs. Mulca- hey. I think a little soap and water will do him as much good as anything."
Mrs. Mulcahey : "Yis, docther ; an' will Oi give it t' him befoor or afther his males ?"
Uncle Ezra: "How did your automobile accident happen?"
Uncle Eben : "Well, you see, there's one thing you keep your eye on, and another one you keep your foot on, and another one you keep your head on, and I guess I got my anatomy in the wrong place.
Doctor: "How do you feel, Colonel, when you have actually killed a man?''
Colonel : "Oh, not so bad. How do you ?"
"Some men have no hearts," said the tramp. "I've been a-tellin' that feller I am so dead broke that I have to sleep outdoors."
"Didn't that fetch him?" asked the other.
"Naw. He tol' me he was a-doin' the same thing, and had to pay the doc- tor for tellin' him to do it."
TONICS AND SEDATIVES-Continued.
GIVING THE DOCTOR THE CREDIT.
Doctor: "You have only a few moments left to live. Have you anything to say?"
Patient: "Only dis, doctah — dat yo've made an a'mighty quick job of it."
Mother's little girl came in from her play to ask a question :
"Have gooseberries any legs ?"
"Of course not: why do you ask?" answered her mother.
"Why, then, mother, I've been eatin' caterpillars!"
Student A : "How can I keep my toes from going to sleep ?"
Student B : "Don't let them turn in."
IN AMNESIA. Q: "What is the first thing that you would say to a Twilight Baby?" A : "Does your mother know you're out ?"
COMPENSATION. A rollnig-stone gathers no moss, but it gets so smooth that nobody has any- thing on it.
THE STUDENT'S DREAM.
Hemostats and carved-up cats, ether cones and bones. Plaster casts, normoblasts, and dying patient's moans, Epsom salts, and graveyard vaults, cancer cells and toes, Tuberculine and dry gangrene — annihilate repose.
WAS IT VERY ODD? Doctor, to Assistant : "That's an odd thing I have just done." Assistant: "What is that, Doctor?"
Doctor: "In signing this death certificate I put my name where the cause of death should be."
Explained.
Captain Turner of the ill-fated Lusitania had a story about the ravages of seasickness that he often told in the saloon.
"A passenger," he would begin, "approached another passenger and said :
" 'We're getting up a tug-of-war between a team of married men and a team of single men. You're married, aren't you ?'
"'No,' the other answered, 'I'm seasick; that's what makes me look like this.' "
A young doctor received late one evening a note from three of his fellow practitioners: "Please come over to the club and join us in a game of poker." "Emilie, dear," he said to his wife, "here I am called away again. It is an im- portant case — there are three other doctors on the spot already."
151
TONICS AND SEDATIVES-Continued.
Willie's April Fool on Mamma .
Little Willie had a very pretty governess, and on April 1st he rather startled his mother by rushing in to her and saying:
"Mamma, there's a strange man upstairs who has just put his arm around Miss Wilson's waist, and kissed her several times — "
"What!" said the mother, as she jumped up to pull the bell for the butler.
"April fool, Mamma !" said Willie, in great glee, "It wasn't a strange man at all. It was Papa!"
A Clever Woman.
"Mrs. Chink has hit on a plan to keep her husband from smoking in the parlor."
"What did she do?"
"She hung the portraits of her three former husbands there."
Good Guess.
"Ah, my poor man," said the benevolent old lady, "I suppose you are often pinched by want and hunger, are you not?"
"Yessum; and cops."
"Are you unmarried?" inquired the census man.
"Oh, dear, no," said the little lady, blushing; "I've never even been mar- ried."
Mrs. Cox (handing her husband a saucerful of white powder) — John, taste that and tell me what you think it is.
Mr. Cox — It tastes like soda.
Mrs. Cox — That's what I told Bridget. She declares it is rat poison. Taste it again to make sure.
152
in Sty* Class of 1916.
(DO
Who has the best mustache? Peterson.
Who is the lady's man? Lupton.
Who has the most hair? Grentzner.
Who has the biggest feet ? Miller.
Who has the most "bovine ?" Byrne.
Who shaves the most? McCamey.
Who has the most hair-cuts? Byrne.
Who is the best prize-fighter? Flynn.
Who gets there first ? Feldman.
Who are the most popular trio? Feldman, Sternberg and Syrof
Who is always smiles? Chaput.
Who is the best looking man? Compton.
Who thinks he is? Law.
Who is the smallest man? Foley.
Who chews the most tobacco? Baggott.
Who grubs the most? Savannah.
Who is the most dignified? Madden.
Who has a piece of chalk? Cannon.
Who weighs the most? Flynn.
Who weighs the least? Howard.
Who are the dirty dozen? Nobody knows.
153
Safetv First.
Said a youth in fashion dressed, To the girl he loved the best :
0 say the word and name the day 'When we two shall be one.
1 have a first-class pedigree. There is royal blood in me ;
My father is a millionaire. And I'm his only son.
Said the maiden : All the wealth
Is as nothing without health ; That blue blood you boast of
Has for me but small attraction. If you want to marry me.
Some good doctor go and see And bring back his written statement
Of your Wasserman Reaction.
Who helps to keep all ills away ?
The Doctor. Who waits the longest for his pay?
The Doctor. Who knows you from your very birth, And keeps you hanging 'round this earth. However little you are worth?
The Doctor.
The Ancients thought the world was flat,
And right they were. They've not the slightest doubt of that,
I must aver. They had no banquets, benighted dubs.
To go to then. They had no cigarettes or clubs
Like modern men.
They had no chorus maids,
Xo quail on toast ; Xo dames with flaxen hair,
Xo meat to roast. They had no highballs in their day,
Xo rye, no gin ; They thought the world was flat, and say.
It must have been.
With Due Respects To All.
THEORETICALLY
A Freshman knows not that he knows not. A Sophomore knows that he knows not. A Junior knows not that he knows. A Senior knows he knows
154
The End.
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